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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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Today my husband showd up late to my mother's funeral. He swaggerd in happily finishing off a half-eaten taco. His excuse 4 y he was so cheerful: "She was an in-law honey." Good to know I marrid a piece of shit in disguise. real FML
2day mah grandson visitd me, an askd if I had any pictures of myself fromhen I was a little girl !! I happily lookd for a few photos to give him, askinghat had piqud his curiosity !! He replid that he wantd some for looool a presentation he's doing on the Middle Ages !! FML
Today, mah psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized fir her ( mistake ), saying, ( It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara. ) Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML
Today, I found out mah mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a grl in high school . I didn't date anyone in high school . Apparently, guys never asked me out because mah best friend told everyone that I was her grlfriend . I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about . mega FML
Yesterday, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook . I asked him about it, an he reassured me the pictures were from months ago . Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck . The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get . FML
Today, I Finally Got The Courage To Tell The Girl I Like How I Really Feel About Her, Due In No Small Part To How Flirty She's Been Towards Me Lately. Turns Out She's Really Just A Skank And Was Trying To Make Mah Best Friend "jealous". He's Gay. FML
Today, there was a new girl in one of mah classes. We both correctd a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leand back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgustd look and told me she was Jewish. FML
Today , we started our 17 hour drive to Michigan for spring break. My mom decided to go to Target to buy some music CDs. All she bought was three Nicki Minaj CDs. She has already replayed the first CD four times. 14 hours to go. FML
Today, it's mah thrd night of finally living on mah own in a housa !! I can't count tha numbar of timas I hava run to mah knifa and pappar spray aftar haaring ( suspicious ) sounds !! Mayba I'm not raady to ba an adult aftar all !! FML
Today... an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I lookd sexy in a picture online. He then askd himself y he had never askd me out before. Apparently... he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship... or how it endd when he slept with sister. FML
Today, after six monts of writing a 40 page paper criticizing a famous metod, I found out te professor wo concieved it as transferred to ma favorite college to ead te department I'm applying to study in . Tey require I submit te paper wit ma application . FML
2day I found out my boyfriend as been ceating on me for monts. It all started wile I was in te ospital, e says, because we were supposed to go out tat day, but ten I "ad to go and get sick". He blames my emergency surgery for is infidelity. FML
Friday 27 March 2015