About minder97 : I am from Canada, love to go to the beach, golf and chill in the sun. my family owns two golf courses :] Tweet me at: jasmine_harnden
minder97's FML badges
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
minder97's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
by Tyler / 11/19/2011 at 3:05am / United States / Intimacy
Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML
by dan / 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized that in my relationship with my significant other, the roles are switched. We went out for a nice dinner, I paid, and when we got home he "had a headache" and asked for an aspirin so he could go to sleep. FML
by Damnit / 11/17/2011 at 1:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML
by anonymous / 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous
by lababy / 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was watching wrestling videos on YouTube, when my little brother walked in. Later, my little brother told my parents that I was watching naked men on my computer. They won't stop thinking that I was watching gay porn. FML
by Anonymous / 11/12/2011 at 9:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
by possiblyoverweight / 11/08/2011 at 9:01am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Kids
Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML
by bakedplum / 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad yelled for me. It was an emergency. I ran down the stairs, tripped, fell, and limped over to my dad only to find that he wanted me to see a video of someone playing "Bohemian Rhapsody" on the ukulele. FML
by camille / 10/29/2011 at 9:40am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by sad / 10/25/2011 at 6:15am / Reserved / Intimacy
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML
by prostitutes boyfriend / 10/21/2011 at 10:55am / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy
by imy / 10/18/2011 at 11:01am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy