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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
mimori_kiryu's favorite FMLs
Today, I heard my boyfriend of 3 months talking with his friend, not knowing I could hear them. "Tonight's the night," my boyfriend says. "I'm finally going to tell her I love her!" I got really excited, deciding i loved him too. Then his friend says, "Awesome! But what about Kayla?" I'm Kayla. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2009 at 1:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by trina / 03/22/2009 at 5:05am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend was really stressed about a guy he works with being a jerk. I told him "if you ignore something long enough, it won't bother you anymore." His response was "I've ignored my herpes for a long time but it still bothers me." We've been having sex for 3 months now. FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 3:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by jilted / 03/21/2009 at 3:15am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Cindy / 03/20/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, I decided to introduce my girlfriend to my parents by telling them that we were gonna have a very special guest for dinner. While my mom was preparing the meal she asked, "What does he like?" I'm straight. My parents thought different. FML
by isaacBENNETT / 03/17/2009 at 3:25am / United States (Virginia) / Love
by thiswouldhappen. / 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
by gentileman / 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML
by uncomfortable / 03/11/2009 at 8:20pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy
Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML
by yodada / 03/10/2009 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I arrived at work only to be arrested and accused of stealing over $8000 from my job. 5 hours later at the police station, the discovery was made that the actual thief had an employee ID one digit different than mine. He works at another location over 1200 miles away. FML
by Jong / 03/09/2009 at 10:35pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML
by unemployed / 03/09/2009 at 10:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
by stillwaiting / 03/09/2009 at 4:48pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by shit_upon_literally / 03/07/2009 at 12:51am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my… Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read… Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it.…