About mimi_animee : William Haynes is my spirit animal
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mimi_animee's favorite FMLs
by SayCheese / 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by fineididntwantkidsanyway / 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy
Today, after much reluctance due to fear of causing a huge debate, I finally posted something on Facebook about the presidential debates. However, the post sparked an argument with my mom's childhood best friend, that ended with her telling me that my dad isn't actually my dad. FML
by bastardchild_01 / 10/17/2012 at 2:22am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
by L / 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy
Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm / United States / Animals
by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by Unfortunate / 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML
by Skidmark Sally / 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm / United States (New Mexico) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML
by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 1:18am / United States (New Mexico) / Love
by thatwas10yearsago / 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML
by creepedasfuck / 09/23/2012 at 12:50pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room". FML
by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 12:32am / United States / Miscellaneous
by holyshitbatman / 09/22/2012 at 10:06am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…