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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I received a phone call from my son's school. Apparently, for the past week he has been telling everyone "mummy works as a drug dealer." I'm a pharmacist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25060) - you deserved it (2244)
On 01/15/2010 at 2:56am - kids - by iKaite (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I came home to find my Dad cheating on his new wife of six weeks. With my own mother who was supposedly dating "a real catch". Should I be happy that my parents love each other or pissed off that they're both whores? I can't decide. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20566) - you deserved it (1791)
On 12/30/2009 at 12:03am - intimacy - by wheresthelove (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10262) - you deserved it (25839)
On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, me and my girlfriend were riding on my motorcycle. While at a stop light, she started to make these weird noises. Turns out she was having an orgasm. I still can't give her one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17662) - you deserved it (3988)
On 11/30/2009 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss' wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men". I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23960) - you deserved it (1163)
On 11/16/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by bad_day_in_hell - United States (Montana)
Today, I found out that my dad has been having an affair. With my formerly favorite teacher. The best part? Yesterday, she announced to the class that she was pregnant. I clapped and congratulated her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36019) - you deserved it (1423)
On 11/15/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24942) - you deserved it (6614)
On 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm - kids - by snapped (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24942) - you deserved it (6614)
On 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm - kids - by snapped (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, for my birthday, my friends and family gave me: A Wii Fit, a free year at the gym and a book of diet recipes. They didn't consult with each other. I've asked for "something corresponding to me". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17911) - you deserved it (10396)
On 11/11/2009 at 11:03am - health - by Timetoloseweight (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35478) - you deserved it (2489)
On 11/02/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by notsohappyniece (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, after waiting a couple weeks, I finally slept with this guy I really like. It went like this: 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13441) - you deserved it (2898)
On 10/26/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by kl (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35320) - you deserved it (1730)
On 10/18/2009 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Norrbottens Lan)
Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26813) - you deserved it (6522)
On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs, I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex and afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd had great sex also. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52275) - you deserved it (3447)
On 08/28/2009 at 7:43am - intimacy - by Phoellie (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29930) - you deserved it (3051)
On 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by Ben (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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