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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I'm training to be a nurse in a hospital. Our teacher asked for a volunteer to demonstrate how bed restraints work. After I was shackled to the bed she said, "Now let's make sure they work. Are you ticklish?" My entire class tickled me until I screamed, cried and nearly wet my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25165) - you deserved it (3625)
On 11/03/2010 at 8:08am - work - by nurse (woman) - Reserved
Today, I was cashier at work. The line came to a stop, but there was still people there. I kept saying next, but no one moved. I finally looked over the counter where there was a lady who had been standing there the whole time. She was a midget. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28378) - you deserved it (9502)
On 11/02/2010 at 2:20am - work - by saraleerocha - Sent from mobile version
Today, my gynecologist was having trouble with my exam due to me being "too tight." I'm 24. After the explanation of having been pretty inactive in over a year, she exclaimed, "Damn, girl, we really need to find you a boyfriend!" Yeah, tell me about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25785) - you deserved it (3180)
On 10/30/2010 at 1:03am - intimacy - by miss cranky pants - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my best friend lost her virginity to my father. Her excuse? She was drunk. His excuse? "She's hot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44426) - you deserved it (2962)
On 10/29/2010 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18417) - you deserved it (9367)
On 10/27/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23998) - you deserved it (2186)
On 09/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by PuppyPeeTimee. - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35561) - you deserved it (9660)
On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38234) - you deserved it (10977)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20294) - you deserved it (13356)
On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21860) - you deserved it (12623)
On 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31604) - you deserved it (7954)
On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)
Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26760) - you deserved it (8920)
On 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by RachelVanLannen9 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19477) - you deserved it (3213)
On 03/15/2010 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19886) - you deserved it (2655)
On 03/13/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by nerdygirl101 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36356) - you deserved it (7454)
On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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