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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36572) - you deserved it (15275)
On 03/08/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by serverdessert - United States (Maryland)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (352986) - you deserved it (66631)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my mom needed coffee so I drove to Starbucks to get her some. She let me drive the Porsche, which has never happened. Upon coming home I picked the coffee up out of the cupholder so it wouldnt spill. My phone vibrated in my pocket, I spilled the coffee and crashed the car into the garage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16839) - you deserved it (49132)
On 03/05/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by cane - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14233) - you deserved it (50724)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Werner (man) - United States (California)
Today, My mom walked in on me and my 2 year crush about to have sex. When she saw us she said "oh I'll just wait outside, I know it wont be long anyway." FML
I agree, your life sucks (71372) - you deserved it (5845)
On 02/21/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35621) - you deserved it (15189)
On 02/18/2009 at 9:15am - love - by Sandra (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41185) - you deserved it (5329)
On 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by karma - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42925) - you deserved it (4633)
On 12/19/2008 at 11:05am - intimacy - by chicochico - Sent from mobile version
Today, after numerous attempts, my car door still wouldn't unlock. After going ballistic on the lock, the key broke off inside. I then realized it wasn't my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8695) - you deserved it (15655)
On 11/26/2008 at 11:21pm - misc - by Smile - Sent from mobile version
Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I hear him in the hall I shout out "come on, don't be shy, bring that cock in here right now!". A voice replies: "he's gone out to get some bread". It was my mother in law. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32415) - you deserved it (10875)
On 11/20/2008 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Tinker-Bell - Sent from mobile version
Today, I tried demonstrate to my little brother that, unlike what he sees in cartoons, it is impossible to slip on a banana peel. I'm not too sure he's convinced. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5621) - you deserved it (22216)
On 11/18/2008 at 10:44pm - kids - by j0j0 - France (Aquitaine)
Today, I baby sat a four-year old kid, because his parents went partying. Once in bed, he yells "I want to go party!!". After 3 or 4 times, I told him to go to sleep. 2 hours later, wet bed. "Told you I want to go potty!!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12079) - you deserved it (34074)
On 10/31/2008 at 3:06am - kids - by Tara - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)
Today, the girl I'm secretly in love with, whom I was talking to on MSN, told me she'd "brb in 10, no wait 20, oh make that 30 min" depending on her boyfriend's stamina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53553) - you deserved it (6533)
On 10/28/2008 at 7:13am - intimacy - by loon - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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