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millertime911

Offline (the 03/20/2014 at 1:12am) | Search for a member

millertime911

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 11 September 1975 (38 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 71
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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millertime911's page activity

Visits<b>ijulez</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:50pm<b>nickjt30</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 12:26pm<b>okcnation</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 4:50am<b>boricualuv</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:14am<b>sassypenguinxox</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:07am<b>Sk8rboi17</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 1:46am

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millertime911's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML

#21216504
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32300) - you deserved it (2655)

On 07/21/2014 at 5:15pm - work - by notpayedenoughforthisshit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was really upset and the girl I like saw me. She told me what a great guy I am and that I deserve to be happy. With any other girl but her. FML

#21202480
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40011) - you deserved it (3992)

On 07/08/2014 at 2:04am - love - by SadlyNotMe - United States

Today, my husband told me he was going to search from store to store in order to find my birthday gift. What was he really doing? His girlfriend. FML

#21202458
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45847) - you deserved it (3599)

On 07/08/2014 at 1:41am - love - by rozsrredd (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

#21199096
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43822) - you deserved it (8906)

On 07/05/2014 at 12:26am - intimacy - by bad in the sack - United States

Today, I went to a seamstress to be fitted for my wedding dress and left with a pierced nipple. FML

#21187386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44570) - you deserved it (5555)

On 06/25/2014 at 12:29am - misc - by pierced. - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

#21173084
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45385) - you deserved it (5434)

On 06/13/2014 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

#21158187
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42128) - you deserved it (3616)

On 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm - health - by half-dead in CA (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the sandwich shop I work in. A customer came in and requested an assorted sub. As I finished putting on the sauces, I looked up to see the customer's face set in horror. Apparently I didn't notice that I licked my fingers clean after getting some mayonnaise on them. FML

Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML

#21119490
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48047) - you deserved it (12845)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54972) - you deserved it (7761)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom brought her sleazy boyfriend home. He took one look at me, swatted my ass, and said, "It runs in the family." My mom just laughed and winked at me, and mouthed, "He's a keeper!" FML

#21103666
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56427) - you deserved it (3916)

On 04/03/2014 at 1:22pm - love - by wiona (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

#21069326
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50098) - you deserved it (6648)

On 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51870) - you deserved it (18434)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML

#21044260
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51616) - you deserved it (16477)

On 01/29/2014 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wrexham)



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