mille1011

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mille1011

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 4 July 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1303
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About mille1011 : I love to chat with new people. Come and talk to me I don't bite. :)

mille1011's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:30pm<b>J_rockk10</b> - the 05/22/2011 at 10:35am

mille1011's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of mille1011's badges

mille1011's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML

by Lovenem / 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my Dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2011 at 12:50am / Intimacy

Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML

by bitchasaurusrex / 02/15/2011 at 4:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

by RyanM / 02/13/2011 at 4:01am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

by anon / 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

by Scaredwitless / 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

by ohsnap / 01/22/2011 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 9:43pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures and things that I drew when I was younger, labeled "Shit from when Annie was cute." FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 9:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML

by Bawo / 06/01/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy