About milkman150 : I'm a random crazy guy from the south that loves football, mountain bike riding and anything with a tune!
milkman150's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
milkman150's favorite FMLs
by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML
by akaka / 07/14/2014 at 9:38am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML
by Anonymous / 05/02/2014 at 10:04am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
Today, I found a job after two years of searching. I excitedly called my best friend to tell her the good news. She decided break her own news about how she quit yet another good paying job and found an even better one within hours. FML
by MzZombicidal / 12/17/2013 at 12:28pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work
Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML
by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML
by WasntMe / 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm / United States / Kids
by hamburger / 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML
by jgtrflynn / 06/24/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML
by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by scarredforlife / 06/16/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend got into bed with me and started fooling around. I had a terrible migraine, which she knew, so I asked her to stop because it wasn't helping. She then yelled at me for being "ungrateful" and "selfish", and accused me of secretly being gay. FML
by Anonymous / 06/14/2013 at 5:21pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health
Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML
by fuck kids / 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm / United States (New York) / Health
by geena / 10/27/2012 at 2:42am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML
by Alisha / 08/07/2012 at 2:04pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous