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Today, I got dumped during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52533) - you deserved it (5512)
On 03/28/2013 at 6:02am - intimacy - by Bigfatfailure (man) - United States (California)
Today, I decided to cover a coworker's closing shift because she felt sick. My boss even gave me a $10 gift card for doing it. I felt good about it, until I walked outside and found that my car had been stolen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26663) - you deserved it (1322)
On 12/27/2012 at 3:52am - work - by Ross R - United States (Washington)
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38782) - you deserved it (8117) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/26/2012 at 11:04pm - love - by Bouh (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28992) - you deserved it (2002)
On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32895) - you deserved it (2854)
On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend breaking things off with me. He waited until the day after Christmas because he wanted all his presents. And he got me nothing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38418) - you deserved it (3045)
On 12/26/2012 at 9:32am - love - by Jolene - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27949) - you deserved it (2840)
On 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by jsmills92 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my mother has stooped to a new level of "hiding" Christmas gifts. She now just dumps them in the middle of the floor and says, "Don't look at them." If she even thinks I'm glancing in the direction of the pile, she will burst into a manic rage, and yell at me for "ruining the surprise." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21817) - you deserved it (5777)
On 12/20/2012 at 8:57am - misc - by Mandy93 (woman) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)
Today, my house was broken into. The cop that came turned out to be a guy I fought over a girl with in high school. He sneered and said that everything appeared to be in order, and that I probably ransacked my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29037) - you deserved it (6630)
On 12/20/2012 at 6:19am - misc - by doblex (man) - United States
Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31441) - you deserved it (3271)
On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -
Today, I took a bath because I couldn't get my left arm wet due to a minor medical procedure. My roommates decided to barge in to the bathroom and ruthlessly pelt me with flour. Not only did I find out flour burns the eyes, but the shock caused me to slip and submerge my arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29034) - you deserved it (1971)
On 12/20/2012 at 12:55am - health - by antiqued - United States (California)
Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20438) - you deserved it (5873)
On 12/19/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by Johnny (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day, but no reply. After a while, I became worried so I called. She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, my best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34391) - you deserved it (1898)
On 12/19/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by SugarMyBalls (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure. The pedicurist began examining my feet, then called his coworkers over to demonstrate how to deal with "excessively crusty" feet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16329) - you deserved it (12270)
On 12/19/2012 at 3:53pm - health - by Crusty -
Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it, but he never seemed to laugh. Finally, the door opened and out came a lady in a wheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7154) - you deserved it (44521)
On 12/19/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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