Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mikepzz

Online | Search for a member

mikepzz

3Liked!

mikepzzmikepzz
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 22 November 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1421
  • Number of comments : 227
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About mikepzz : I'm a Heavy equipment mechanic, race car driving, bad ass motherfucker :D

mikepzz's page activity

Visits<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - 41 minutes ago<b>rachelllllb</b> - 2 hours ago<b>aseim9497</b> - 10 hours ago<b>immaloser95</b> - 20 hours ago<b>mattybigdaddy</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 1:21pm<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 7:58am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 3:06am<b>mattdipshoot</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:02pm<b>Nubbington1402</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:44pm<b>pockyyx3</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 6:50pm<b>datbootydoe</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 5:52pm<b>steveO95</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:15pm<b>sweatynate</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 1:44pm<b>WattledParsley</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:39am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:38am<b>Drewmagana</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:49am<b>joer4</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:26am<b>xadoringx</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:25am

Liked!<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 8:12am<b>jimmayiscool</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 3:32am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 2:36am

mikepzz's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of mikepzz's badges

mikepzz's favorite FMLs

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53963) - you deserved it (3923)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML

#20510821
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35471) - you deserved it (5379)

On 02/17/2013 at 2:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Botswana (North-East)

Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML

#20484368
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33723) - you deserved it (2413)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:48am - misc - by thegirlofthedad (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

#20465889
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60432) - you deserved it (6949)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55736) - you deserved it (9892)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my car is still in the shop, so I asked my psycho brother to drive me to the mall. He sped up to nearly 20km over the speed limit, so I shouted for him to stop before he got us both killed. He hit the brakes in the middle of an intersection, and wouldn't move again until I got out. FML

#20401140
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22192) - you deserved it (7284)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7397) - you deserved it (32526)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML

#19555770
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25412) - you deserved it (3714)

On 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by sockmonkey (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML

#14881052
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10289) - you deserved it (49290)

On 02/07/2011 at 10:47am - health - by Raprotcommander (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

#14244389
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34982) - you deserved it (4070)

On 12/18/2010 at 4:11am - love - by anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

#7609277
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42499) - you deserved it (11988)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88162) - you deserved it (14713)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

#4390230
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42459) - you deserved it (10934)

On 08/08/2009 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by sandwichsex (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

#4201501
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61268) - you deserved it (9833)

On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while arriving at my best friend's wedding, I accidentally ran over her 2 dogs. FML

#2433672
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52368) - you deserved it (23271)

On 05/30/2009 at 2:04pm - animals - by lfssecond - United States (Connecticut)



FML's blog

  • Sidonie's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! In this week's edition, some pedalos, some kittens, a bunch of gypsy singers, some ponytails, a crooner, a house that looks like Hitler, a joke about George W. Bush's cocaine habit and a brilliant…

Thursday 19 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: