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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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mikelc

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mikelc
  • Town/Country : Philadelphia, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 May 1983 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 1270
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mikelc's favorite FMLs

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

#1793303 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (24272) - you deserved it (35892)

On 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm - work - by Failoffel (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

#1693218 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (59753) - you deserved it (3231)

On 05/06/2009 at 3:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML

#1681747 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (53244) - you deserved it (5240)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Jinthebar (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the noise I thought was a mouse in my room was a water bottle shaking when my refrigerator turned on. I stayed up till 4am looking for a mouse that didn't exist. FML

#1351662 (56)

I agree, your life sucks (13105) - you deserved it (30379)

On 04/26/2009 at 11:13am - animals - by alikat (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML

#1292043 (394)

I agree, your life sucks (61405) - you deserved it (6303)

On 04/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was waiting for the train. It arrived, I got on and the woman behind me stepped on the back of my shoe. My shoe came flying off and landed in the gutter between the train and the platform. The doors closed, the train pulled away. FML

#1252077 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (44111) - you deserved it (1863)

On 04/23/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by Kate (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, just after getting off the phone with a girl I am interested in, I parked on campus and decided to eat my lunch in the car. As I was sitting there, she appeared out of nowhere and walked to her car. I was parked directly behind her car, sitting there like a creepy ass. FML

#1187593 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (44702) - you deserved it (6715)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by porkieworkie (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

#1076233 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (38065) - you deserved it (10989)

On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I were watching TV. An info-mercial came on for a diamond cross necklace that had the lord's prayer engraved inside of it. As the commercial ended I said, "who in their right mind would actually buy that?" Turns out, my husband would, for our anniversary. FML

#804765 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (36633) - you deserved it (15541)

On 04/04/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by ALLALA (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML

#741988 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (72971) - you deserved it (12568)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by highleyj (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

#721846 (281)

I agree, your life sucks (107194) - you deserved it (5601)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML

#572670 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (66787) - you deserved it (6653)

On 03/24/2009 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found a bell that had been tied into the tassel of my ski hat by my twin sister as part of a longstanding prank war between us. I'm deaf and have apparently been jingling like an elf for over a week. FML

#489076 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (90111) - you deserved it (6841)

On 03/20/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by hipprep83 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife of over 20 years told me she wants a divorce because she wants "a change in life". She has had the same mullet hair cut since '84. FML

#488336 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (61828) - you deserved it (6409)

On 03/20/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047 (1012)

I agree, your life sucks (404604) - you deserved it (241679)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)