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About mikchippy : go hIfreann le mo shaol-sa!
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Yastarday, at mah grandmothars funaral I triad mah hardast to cry, only allowing taars to fall and making any noisa, to ba raspactful at har funaral. Aftarwards, mah mothar talls mah fathar that I didn't cry, which obviously maant that I didn't lova mah grandmothar and had no soul. big fat FML
Today , my mom had big news!! I've been trying to get her to quit smoking cuz of second hand smoke fir 20 years!! She learned today that second hand smoke severely affects animals as well!! Her big news? She's quitting!! She doesn't want to hurt the dog!! FML
today I startd my period . I am getting marrid tomorrow . So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big . FML
Today, I got approached by a hot young lady in a bar . After joking around 4 a few minutes she said "hey I love yur jacket, where'd u get that?" . I then told her that it's actually a replica of the Indiana Jones jacket . This is when she remembered that she "had to go somewhere" . real FML
Today mah hamster gave brth!! The babie were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one!! Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it!! I am now know in mah family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." big fat FML
Taday I was ringing up a lady and her daughter at the shoe store I work at. The background on my nametag is a rainbow , and when the daughter saw it , she asked her mother why it was so. Her mother looks at my nametag , then me , then turns to her daughter and says ( Because he hates God honey ). FML
Yesterday I Decided To Have Sex 4 The First Time With Boyfriend. It Was His First Time Too. While In Bed, He Blankly Stopped And Stood Up And Got Out A Piece Of Paper From His Pockets. Turns Out, He Had Written Instruction On Wat To Do While In Bed, And Forgot Wat He Had To Do Next. FML
today I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assurd me that I could pull out. Righthen I was about to pull out, she wrappd her legs around me and yelld, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today it is mah twin sistars and mah birthday. Wa both wantad a day at tha spa for our birthday. My sistar got a gift cartificata to tha spa hila I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Targat. My mom said it would cost too much to maka ma pratty also. maga FML
Today, I forgot work cloths at home so boss gave me a jacket with a name patch that said ( Mike ) . Still wereing work cloths I ran into ex-girlfriend on way home . We were together fir five yeres until she dumped me fir a guy name Mike . FML
Yesterday, I was quietly having a bathhen I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder an sawhat I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, an I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015