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mikaylatsmith

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mikaylatsmith
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 17 March 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 123
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About mikaylatsmith :

mikaylatsmith's FML badges

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mikaylatsmith's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

#20071176
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31374) - you deserved it (1927)

On 09/14/2012 at 1:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I invited my boyfriend to his first dinner out with my family. As my older brother was discussing the injuries he'd received while working as a tow truck driver, my innocent 10 year old brother piped up saying he should see what I did to my boyfriend's back with my nails. FML

Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML

#20069063
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30922) - you deserved it (3587)

On 09/12/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my cousin suddenly confided in me that he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing when he was 17. Shocked and not knowing how to respond, I blurted out, "Did it work?" FML

#20068483
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7791) - you deserved it (27861)

On 09/12/2012 at 1:40am - misc - by hahagirl (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML

#20065022
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17514) - you deserved it (1717)

On 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

#20064384
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23460) - you deserved it (5823)

On 09/09/2012 at 8:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18429) - you deserved it (4644)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML

#20007431
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19927) - you deserved it (5446)

On 08/07/2012 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Nightmares - United States

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

#19710621
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17871) - you deserved it (37323)

On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

#19663287
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31906) - you deserved it (3783)

On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after months of using the empty driveway across the street from my house, a note was placed under my windshield wiper. It read, "Please stop parking in my driveway. P.S. You’re hot. Are you single?" FML

#19659146
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6415) - you deserved it (31950)

On 05/21/2012 at 9:05pm - misc - by bronco_lover89 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML

#19655658
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16016) - you deserved it (5053)

On 05/21/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by morethanredhands -

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24331) - you deserved it (2760)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

#19646260
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34777) - you deserved it (4742)

On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML

#19627538
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18089) - you deserved it (5758)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:02pm - misc - by FML (woman) - Finland



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