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About mihalka : I have a screwy sense of humor and I'll most likely offend you right off the bat. I never mean any of the crude things I say, I just blurt out the first sentence to form in my cranium; but unfortunately for my social skills, the politically incorrect thoughts usually beat out my inner Little Miss Muppet. I truly don't mean anything rude I say, I'm just that dick in the crowd that takes the opening in a conversation to test the boundaries of society's patience. I usually get away with my statements because people assume I'm too cute and innocent to mean any harm, but this is untrue at times. Overall, I'm a good person.
baby.vulpix @ hotmail .com
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5001) - you deserved it (2058)
On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8175) - you deserved it (1240)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I confronted my girlfriend about cheating on me. Her response was that it's not cheating since she is getting paid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23573) - you deserved it (2292)
On 05/06/2012 at 8:13pm - intimacy - by madseason (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6759) - you deserved it (751)
On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)
Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9373) - you deserved it (1073)
On 05/05/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4499) - you deserved it (1716)
On 05/05/2012 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7186) - you deserved it (2884)
On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26880) - you deserved it (2074)
On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon
Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that black people aren't all lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7363) - you deserved it (493)
On 04/19/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by MI3 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6360) - you deserved it (815)
On 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm - intimacy - by blocked_by_fire (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was fixing a leak in the roof. When I was climbing down the ladder, it fell, but I managed to grab the ledge of the roof. The ladder hit my wife's car, then I fell on top of the ladder. My wife came running out to ask what happened to the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5343) - you deserved it (678)
On 04/16/2012 at 11:52am - health - by fhe - Puerto Rico
Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11879) - you deserved it (1304)
On 04/16/2012 at 4:12am - intimacy - by oface13 (man) - United States
Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6134) - you deserved it (799)
On 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm - kids - by sigh (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4383) - you deserved it (8323)
On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada
Today, I arrived at work, only to find my computer's massive CRT monitor had been smashed up beyond belief. Everyone else has flat-screen monitors, and I'd made no secret of how unfair it is to me. According to my boss, this makes me the obvious culprit, and now I'm suspended. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15580) - you deserved it (1294)
On 04/15/2012 at 5:26pm - work - by ... (man) - United States (Florida)
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