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About migueljm5 : I am better than you.
Feel free to message me. I'm bored af
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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today , At Te Movies , Some Asswipe Kept Trowing Candy At Me. After 20 Minutes Of It , I Got Up And Went Over To Get Im To Stop. Good News: Is Balls Vanised Faster Tan A Politician's Spine Immediately After Bieng Elected. Bad News: I Got Kicked Out For ( Starting A Disturbance ). FML
Today I Walked Into Te Kitcen To Fine Ma Daugter Trying To Cut Er Wrist Wit A Plastic Spoon. Wen I Asked Er Wy Se Said Er Friend Lucy Did Tat So Er Parents Would Buy Er Pretty Tings. My Daugter And Lucy Are Bot Four Years Old. FML
Today , I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family!! When I got back home , I found the garage door had been completely demolishd!! My uncontrollably drunk dad blamd me!! I don't even drive!! fat FML
Today, I was sopping wit ma girlfriend,en a girl cummed out of nowere, looool screaming at me for ceating on er, and saying se was dumping me. I've never seen er before, and se was almost grinning during er little act, but ma girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML
Today, the guy I lyk askd me what he should do fir the girl he has a crush on . I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels . Later that day mah doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers . He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?"
I witnessd an elderly lady getting muggd!! I ran over to the guy mugging her an offerd him the money in my wallet in return 4 him leaving her alone!! The old lady snatchd my money an ran away with the mugger!! What the hell just happend? FML
Today, husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery !! We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested !! People kept giving us drty lookshen passing !! We later realized there was something covering the "G" !! mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015