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midnite_serenity

Offline (the 09/07/2014 at 1:43am) | Search for a member

midnite_serenity

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midnite_serenity's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally finished watching Dexter. I was more disappointed by the finale than the picture I later received of my girlfriend cheating on me. FML

#21095894
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41028) - you deserved it (4964)

On 03/25/2014 at 7:36am - misc - by disappointed - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my sink seemed to be filling up with dirty water. Concerned, I turned on the garbage disposal and plunged away. With no change in the water levels, I called a plumber. He reached in, pulled out the drain plug, and give me his bill while chuckling to himself. FML

#20551577
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10012) - you deserved it (40059)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML

#18170655
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28984) - you deserved it (16418)

On 11/06/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by wellthisisawkward80 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

#17365713
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9744) - you deserved it (72212)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

#15947256
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28875) - you deserved it (17264)

On 04/27/2011 at 10:05am - animals - by scarred4life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend told me there was a tick on my shoulder and that he would remove it so I shouldn't worry. After about a half hour, lots of blood, and a ton of pain, he told me it was just a mole. FML

#14451533
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29995) - you deserved it (4442)

On 01/03/2011 at 2:50pm - health - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He is the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

#12438405
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30419) - you deserved it (8144)

On 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by verno02 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML

#7070620
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20899) - you deserved it (3508)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by welted (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML

#4350390
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23266) - you deserved it (59337)

On 08/07/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by scaredshitless (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog ate my little brothers medication. I spent all morning trying to make him throw it up, but it wasn't working so I took him to the animal hospital, which was in a different city. $150 in poison control and vet bills later, I found the pill we thought he ate stuck under his paw. FML

#3356894
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37215) - you deserved it (7385)

On 06/30/2009 at 2:07am - animals - by glowstick (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

#278861
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22618) - you deserved it (73227)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by HansonLUVR (man) - United States (Florida)



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