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midnite_serenity's favorite FMLs
by cat lady / 08/30/2014 at 7:56am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals
by KristaAaronn / 08/27/2014 at 8:24am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by lolatmylife / 08/22/2014 at 2:02am / United States / Love
by Kev / 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML
by drunk under 18 teenager / 08/19/2014 at 9:37am / Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz) / Geek
by disappointed / 03/25/2014 at 7:36am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous
Today, my sink seemed to be filling up with dirty water. Concerned, I turned on the garbage disposal and plunged away. With no change in the water levels, I called a plumber. He reached in, pulled out the drain plug, and give me his bill while chuckling to himself. FML
by Anonymous / 03/19/2013 at 10:52pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML
by wellthisisawkward80 / 11/06/2011 at 1:15am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML
by jshi8 / 08/04/2011 at 10:35am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by scarred4life / 04/27/2011 at 10:05am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend told me there was a tick on my shoulder and that he would remove it so I shouldn't worry. After about a half hour, lots of blood, and a ton of pain, he told me it was just a mole. FML
by anonymous / 01/03/2011 at 2:50pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health
by verno02 / 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML
by welted / 01/01/2010 at 12:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML
by scaredshitless / 08/07/2009 at 12:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I realized my paranoia of smelling bad in front of other people has reached an all time low,… Today, I decided to wear a tank top, but I wasn't sure if I would be dress-coded, so I decided to… Today, a bug flew into my eye. Two hours later I picked "sleep" out of my eye. It was all black and…