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midnightm16

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 267
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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midnightm16's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:52pm<b>martini47</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:26pm<b>depressed_child</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 8:36pm<b>99volleyball99</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 5:48pm<b>BaconForAll</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 5:21pm<b>ThatOneGuy719</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 3:20am<b>andy594328</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 5:17am<b>ManlyGoldfish</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 8:45pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 8:45pm

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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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midnightm16's favorite FMLs

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45106) - you deserved it (6160)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39894) - you deserved it (6088)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

#21154562
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46261) - you deserved it (27694)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm - kids - by outsmartedbykids (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mom insisted on making my lunch. She didn't know that knives are banned at my high school, and packed me a steak knife for cream cheese. I'm now suspended for 7 days, and she refuses to say that she did anything wrong. FML

#21152537
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50227) - you deserved it (4795)

On 05/26/2014 at 6:34pm - misc - by megangubler - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

#21146764
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44719) - you deserved it (6273)

On 05/20/2014 at 10:24pm - kids - by HouseWife - United States (Missouri)

Today, I pulled up next to a lady who was trying to text, smoke, and drive. My brother said that she was probably going to cause an accident. He was right. At the next light she hit us. She then yelled that I purposely caused the accident because, "that's how teenagers are". FML

#21129304
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46851) - you deserved it (3041)

On 05/03/2014 at 1:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was texting a girl I like, explaining how she looks like an attractive celebrity. She responded with a picture of a very unattractive lady and asked if she looked like that. I told her if she had been caught in a burning building, then yes, that would look like her. It was of her mom. FML

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50395) - you deserved it (4429)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

#21113687
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55509) - you deserved it (8617)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife got her period. Every single time, she ends up asking me to go buy her some midol after a few days of trying to tough it out, so I decided to buy her some ahead of time. She reacted by yelling at me for treating her like a child and implying that she couldn't go buy it herself. FML

#21098714
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41328) - you deserved it (4539)

On 03/28/2014 at 5:43pm - love - by unappreciated husband (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37121) - you deserved it (2846)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML

#21078266
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40488) - you deserved it (6644)

On 03/04/2014 at 9:46pm - misc - by augiedd (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while, but I had heard she was pregnant. I rubbed her belly and asked when she was due. She slowly backed away, giving me a weird look and said, "Two months ago." FML

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

#21042087
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53278) - you deserved it (4457)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm - health - by knobbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)



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