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I’m your new creative director
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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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midnightm16's favorite FMLs
by full moon / 09/07/2016 at 10:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by sayno2mermaids / 08/03/2016 at 10:08pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They finally gave in. After they handed me my diploma, they decided to leave because it was "too boring." I'm currently sitting on the curb of the street waiting for my Uber, while people take pictures of me. FML
by Mexican / 06/18/2016 at 11:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents left on vacation for the week. Taking advantage of my freedom, I was planning on having my boyfriend over. My grandparents just showed up as they 'thought I would be lonely'. I can't get rid of them. Looks like I'm not having any fun this week. FML
by notsoaloneanymore / 06/17/2016 at 12:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by sounds good mom / 06/14/2016 at 11:23am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my girlfriend to her ex boyfriend's apartment for her to exchange his spare car keys for some of her grandmothers items. I waited outside in the parking lot for an hour, with no idea which door was his. She came out no longer a virgin. FML
by Joey / 06/04/2016 at 2:52pm / United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East) / Love
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
by hotmess / 04/24/2016 at 11:49pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I decided to pick up some breath mints. As I was checking out, the cashier informed me that if I was "planning on getting a girl to stay the night", I'd need the "stronger, more intense brand of mints". FML
by Kendall14159 / 04/17/2016 at 4:09pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom finally noticed the joke file I have on my PC desktop called "bigcocklovespussy.jpg". It's just a cute picture of a chicken snuggling with a cat. She didn't actually open the file and just deleted it. She won't believe my explanation and grounded me for a month for "looking at porn". FML
by Anonymous / 04/17/2016 at 7:52am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Desiree_lianne / 03/26/2016 at 5:02pm / United States / Love
Today, I told my husband that when I get my birth control taken out later this year, I would like to take a break from it for a while. He just said, "Condoms are too expensive and I don't want to waste $2 every time we do it." FML
by Anonymous / 03/19/2016 at 10:05pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/11/2016 at 5:09pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
Today, I donated a dollar to a kids charity at Lowe's. The cashier handed me a star to sign my name, I signed it and gave it back to her. She looked at me with disgust and asked what was wrong with me. I had to pull out my license to prove to her that my name is really Michael Myers. FML
by M1CHA3L_MY3RZ / 03/01/2016 at 8:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by wellthisisbad / 02/29/2016 at 7:27am / United States (Florida) / Kids
- Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, at daycare, a mother congratulated me for having such a kind and well-behaved little girl.…