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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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midnight92

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midnight92
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 July 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1059
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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midnight92's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML

#14120068 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (25493) - you deserved it (4504)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:25pm - kids - by Cherie - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

#14068536 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (47441) - you deserved it (6341)

On 12/03/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Annonmyus -

Today, I need to find a way to explain to my 5, 7 and 12 year old kids their uncle wants to become their aunt. FML

#13773002 (65)

I agree, your life sucks (39090) - you deserved it (6694)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML

#13711659 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (25452) - you deserved it (11601)

On 11/04/2010 at 5:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my best friend lost her virginity to my father. Her excuse? She was drunk. His excuse? "She's hot." FML

#13642352 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (40691) - you deserved it (2736)

On 10/29/2010 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

#13541967 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (19764) - you deserved it (3071)

On 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML

#13469972 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (24452) - you deserved it (4664)

On 10/16/2010 at 8:31am - love - by married - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No, now get out of my house." FML

#13353894 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (31467) - you deserved it (3119)

On 10/07/2010 at 10:26am - love - by Vinny1017 - United States (New York)

Today, I noticed that my wife changed her status on Facebook to "widow" and a lot of strange guys commented saying stuff like "Finally." Last I checked, I'm not dead. FML

#13352571 (230)

I agree, your life sucks (32513) - you deserved it (1943)

On 10/07/2010 at 6:10am - love - by Alex - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667 (440)

I agree, your life sucks (34952) - you deserved it (10173)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML

#13338032 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (7776) - you deserved it (35146)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:37am - love - by crucets (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML

#13285940 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (49897) - you deserved it (4200)

On 10/02/2010 at 4:07am - love - by Pr unlucky - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I finally had the confidence to show my girlfriend my hairy chest/stomach. I'm very self conscious about it, and get embarrassed easily. She said I looked disgusting, called me Chewbacca and broke up with me on the spot. FML

#13206157 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (31694) - you deserved it (4709)

On 09/26/2010 at 5:26am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730 (331)

I agree, your life sucks (19320) - you deserved it (35303)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his bestfriend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886 (408)

I agree, your life sucks (39340) - you deserved it (7402)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)