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michelliebelle's FML badges
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michelliebelle's favorite FMLs
Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML
by tw@ / 09/28/2014 at 11:30am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML
by hahaohyeahwow / 09/24/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by fatty / 08/13/2014 at 11:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health
Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML
by Anonymous / 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm / New Zealand / Kids
Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML
by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/25/2014 at 5:18pm / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Love
by Lisa / 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by look how totally not racist I am! / 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by oh my fucking god / 07/10/2014 at 9:34am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love
Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm / United States (Nevada) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 1:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Roy Lawson / 06/25/2014 at 8:19pm / United States (California) / Health
by pierced. / 06/25/2014 at 12:29am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
by NehNehPwn / 06/24/2014 at 11:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by over prtective father / 06/24/2014 at 12:35am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…