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michelleissexy

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michelleissexy

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  • Number of visits : 1819
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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michelleissexy's page activity

Visits<b>BellaMuerte666</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 3:40pm

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michelleissexy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML

#4495207
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21615) - you deserved it (51118)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML

#4359063
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45853) - you deserved it (7642)

On 08/07/2009 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got pulled over for the first time since I got my license. I have disorganized speech and occasional inappropriate emotional response. I began to laugh due to nervousness and when I tried to explain why, I was arrested because he thought I was high. FML

#4208437
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47901) - you deserved it (4844)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:24pm - misc - by Jesse (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66909) - you deserved it (15317)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

#4029321
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45453) - you deserved it (26234)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)

Today, my coworkers decided to play a game of "Who Can Piss the Boss Off the Most". I opted not to play, but I still won. FML

#3956685
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44536) - you deserved it (5084)

On 07/22/2009 at 5:09pm - work - by PokeTheBear (man) - Canada

Today, I was interviewed by this TV crew who asked me what I thought of Rhode Island being voted for the second most neurotic state. I thought they said that Rhode Island was the second most erotic state. I commented. FML

#3790297
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36455) - you deserved it (11612)

On 07/16/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by newsgirl (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was skating with my friends and I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was "Look out!" I am now with twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML

#3522499
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51950) - you deserved it (8048)

On 07/06/2009 at 2:49am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML

#3474895
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62740) - you deserved it (12192)

On 07/04/2009 at 4:58am - intimacy - by R_U_CEREAL (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML

#3176908
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47403) - you deserved it (27757)

On 06/24/2009 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by BadBribe (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I couldn't sleep and in the process of tossing and turning I did something very painful to my back. I spent 4 years in the marine corps infantry, but laying in a bed kicks my ass. FML

#3137547
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39446) - you deserved it (4553)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:16am - health - by usmcpain (man) - United States

Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML

#3048050
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10504) - you deserved it (59021)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML

#3025655
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45756) - you deserved it (19131)

On 06/19/2009 at 9:51am - misc - by ilikeirishducks (woman) - Italy

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

#3016666
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14854) - you deserved it (99970)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)



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