michelleissexy

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michelleissexy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 3495
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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michelleissexy's page activity

Visits<b>BellaMuerte666</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 3:40pm

michelleissexy's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

michelleissexy's favorite FMLs

Today, I lost my anal virginity because my boyfriend "slipped". FML

by anonymous / 06/11/2010 at 12:56am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML

by Annakins / 06/06/2010 at 2:31pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2010 at 8:23am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I realized my boyfriend makes the same noises in bed as he does when he's winning in Call of Duty. FML

by Amb / 06/01/2010 at 7:56pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML

by guyshithappensto / 05/21/2010 at 10:41pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

by mperrotta913 / 05/21/2010 at 11:46am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

by imustbegay / 05/09/2010 at 10:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork". Somehow I don't think my feelings are mutual. FML

by burgeee / 03/18/2010 at 6:24am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

by disturbed / 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was eating a hotdog. My huge Siberian Husky, upon becoming aware of this, jumped up on me. He forced his tongue into my mouth and ate the food I was in the middle of eating. FML

by EpicUsername / 03/10/2010 at 8:14pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the bartender pulled me aside and told me that she saw my date slip something into my drink. Who was my date? My husband of four years. FML

by holycrap / 03/03/2010 at 12:37am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML

by Anonymous / 03/02/2010 at 4:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

by ItHurtsLIkeHell / 03/01/2010 at 4:13am / Malaysia (Pulau Pinang) / Animals

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML

by chevysprint / 02/28/2010 at 12:36am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation