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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherf*cking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35343) - you deserved it (2451)
On 12/30/2010 at 2:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I was told I sound like a seal barking when I orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21154) - you deserved it (5572)
On 12/28/2010 at 2:44am - intimacy - by sealy (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30745) - you deserved it (4709)
On 12/19/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by hotmommy -
Today, after buying some groceries, I walked back to my car. After trying several times to get in the door, I finally look up and see a terrified little boy holding onto his teacup poodle for dear life, frantically waving me away. My car was two spots over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7018) - you deserved it (16742)
On 12/18/2010 at 10:20pm - misc - by me - United States
Today, my 21 year old boyfriend asked me what foreplay is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22591) - you deserved it (4092)
On 12/12/2010 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was messing around on my laptop by drawing on the screen with a marker pen. When it came time to clean it off, it wouldn't budge. Now I have a full beard and mustache etched permanently on my computer screen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4316) - you deserved it (81659)
On 12/12/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by dumbass1991 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20821) - you deserved it (14967)
On 12/11/2010 at 1:00am - intimacy - by caligirl921 - United States
Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23168) - you deserved it (10842)
On 11/27/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8908) - you deserved it (19356)
On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31984) - you deserved it (5420)
On 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by single (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21871) - you deserved it (4419)
On 11/05/2010 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. Next thing I know, he farts loudly, then proudly looks my way. I stared back in shock. He says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49156) - you deserved it (9960)
On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for halloween. He said "Single". FML
I agree, your life sucks (37771) - you deserved it (3636)
On 10/27/2010 at 2:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, for my boyfriend's 19th birthday, I decided to dress up as a sexy cat girl for him, complete with ears, tail, matching sexy underwear, collar and leash. He wouldn't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12401) - you deserved it (25239)
On 10/19/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by failed_catgirl (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31433) - you deserved it (6360)
On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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