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michelleissexy

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michelleissexy

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  • Number of visits : 1634
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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michelleissexy's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

#14396481
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42142) - you deserved it (3249)

On 12/30/2010 at 2:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was told I sound like a seal barking when I orgasm. FML

#14365542
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26585) - you deserved it (7128)

On 12/28/2010 at 2:44am - intimacy - by sealy (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

#14263079
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37205) - you deserved it (5916)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by hotmommy -

Today, after buying some groceries, I walked back to my car. After trying several times to get in the door, I finally look up and see a terrified little boy holding onto his teacup poodle for dear life, frantically waving me away. My car was two spots over. FML

#14253305
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9295) - you deserved it (23898)

On 12/18/2010 at 10:20pm - misc - by me - United States

Today, my 21 year old boyfriend asked me what foreplay is. FML

#14181459
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27778) - you deserved it (4571)

On 12/12/2010 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was messing around on my laptop by drawing on the screen with a marker pen. When it came time to clean it off, it wouldn't budge. Now I have a full beard and mustache etched permanently on my computer screen. FML

#14179571
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6246) - you deserved it (107932)

On 12/12/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by dumbass1991 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML

#14161331
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26417) - you deserved it (19052)

On 12/11/2010 at 1:00am - intimacy - by caligirl921 - United States

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

#13994749
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29207) - you deserved it (14096)

On 11/27/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

#13986029
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11859) - you deserved it (27423)

On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

#13782516
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38140) - you deserved it (6910)

On 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by single (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

#13728170
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26252) - you deserved it (4839)

On 11/05/2010 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55902) - you deserved it (12074)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for halloween. He said "Single". FML

#13610925
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43539) - you deserved it (4609)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, for my boyfriend's 19th birthday, I decided to dress up as a sexy cat girl for him, complete with ears, tail, matching sexy underwear, collar and leash. He wouldn't stop laughing. FML

#13515175
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15790) - you deserved it (34109)

On 10/19/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by failed_catgirl (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37856) - you deserved it (7982)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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