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michelleissexy

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michelleissexy

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  • Number of visits : 1612
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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michelleissexy's favorite FMLs

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

#15366508
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26459) - you deserved it (5536)

On 03/18/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by nosleeptilpissoff (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36159) - you deserved it (22671)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

#15154591
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12991) - you deserved it (33959)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20848) - you deserved it (41055)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML

#15062819
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28867) - you deserved it (5300)

On 02/21/2011 at 6:43am - misc - by Karl -

Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML

#14948891
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13526) - you deserved it (59489)

On 02/12/2011 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML

#14894865
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26811) - you deserved it (3120)

On 02/08/2011 at 11:27am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

#14838014
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65822) - you deserved it (6045)

On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -

Today, I was given the ultimate ultimatum: either I suffer excruciating stomach pains and remain a hostage to the porcelain whirlpool goddess, or I stop taking pain medication and face the wrath of a raging infection in my jaw. FML

#14743566
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25294) - you deserved it (2597)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:26pm - health - by Damn.... (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, as I was walking home, I passed some little girls who threw a bunch of snowballs at me. I dodged every single one, ran away laughing, and gave them the finger. I then ran into a snowman. FML

#14727355
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11067) - you deserved it (40049)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML

#14689182
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33060) - you deserved it (6232)

On 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

#14614726
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14555) - you deserved it (38373) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML

#14533533
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26338) - you deserved it (3669)

On 01/10/2011 at 2:14pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

#14518129
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24812) - you deserved it (5035)

On 01/09/2011 at 5:18am - intimacy - by S - Singapore

Today, I was in gym class talking to a guy I like. My friend then decided to come up behind me and pants me, pulling down my underwear along with them. His only comment? "Someone needs to shave." FML

#14515582
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34617) - you deserved it (6847)

On 01/09/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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