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michelleissexy

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michelleissexy

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  • Number of visits : 1840
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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michelleissexy's page activity

Visits<b>BellaMuerte666</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 3:40pm

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michelleissexy's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60136) - you deserved it (12577)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML

#16383481
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15067) - you deserved it (56608)

On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from my biological father, who I have never met in my life. As I was scrolling through his hobbies and interests, I saw "Drinking," "Black women with big asses," and "Getting laid, lol." FML

#16344639
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46055) - you deserved it (3500)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59234) - you deserved it (10100)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32893) - you deserved it (20240)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML

#16216813
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9447) - you deserved it (46719)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:28am - intimacy - by paulwatson93 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in sexual activity anymore because it is getting too boring. FML

#16020666
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33597) - you deserved it (16187)

On 05/02/2011 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by beaverless - United States (Georgia)

Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML

#15791793
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30019) - you deserved it (7139)

On 04/15/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by HWS - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, to impress my friends, I attempted to do a back flip. The only one impressed was the doctor who set my broken leg. FML

#15786221
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8818) - you deserved it (33740)

On 04/14/2011 at 6:27pm - health - by fail (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML

#15773415
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44482) - you deserved it (6717)

On 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by FrOsTy25 -

Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML

#15661118
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19822) - you deserved it (32863)

On 04/06/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by mottephobe - United States (Utah)

Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML

#15574334
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19597) - you deserved it (21932)

On 03/31/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46138) - you deserved it (15416)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML

#15415260
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29970) - you deserved it (52025)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by fffmmll - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34684) - you deserved it (48663)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)



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