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michelleissexy

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michelleissexy

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  • Number of visits : 1639
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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michelleissexy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

#17965176
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24145) - you deserved it (3691)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:14am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37010) - you deserved it (3256)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML

#17500518
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7613) - you deserved it (95716)

On 08/17/2011 at 2:27pm - misc - by Tom - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML

#17162129
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38033) - you deserved it (5689)

On 07/18/2011 at 11:17am - kids - by xBubbles38 - United States

Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML

#17162129
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38033) - you deserved it (5689)

On 07/18/2011 at 11:17am - kids - by xBubbles38 - United States

Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML

#17047649
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40503) - you deserved it (7381)

On 07/10/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35941) - you deserved it (4342)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML

#17012107
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41814) - you deserved it (6356)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:19am - misc - by Snurkles (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

#16895004
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29441) - you deserved it (3740)

On 06/28/2011 at 8:35am - animals - by hadtocleanthemess (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60086) - you deserved it (7407)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML

#16871149
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23043) - you deserved it (35783)

On 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by kaplwv116 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out how it feels to have my groin catch fire due to a magic trick going wrong. FML

#16830734
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25261) - you deserved it (11224)

On 06/24/2011 at 5:57am - health - by chaoticnh - Austria

Today, after a long night of drinking and partying, I woke up in my bed next to a beast of a woman. At least I know I made it home safely. FML

#16696125
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10695) - you deserved it (42099)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by Madmanmorton (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

#16661318
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37139) - you deserved it (3520)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by ugh - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML

#16448607
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37409) - you deserved it (5188)

On 06/01/2011 at 7:53am - misc - by iscreamforicecream (man) - United States (Arizona)



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