michaeljcaboose

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michaeljcaboose

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 478
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About michaeljcaboose : I hate babies.

michaeljcaboose's page activity

Visits<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 12:00pm<b>turdoblast</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 2:29am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 6:56pm<b>jerryj</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 2:28pm<b>cosicosei</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 10:38am<b>Silvinomiae</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 6:02pm<b>Carrotop12</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 2:58pm<b>ArcheryCole99</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 10:57pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 4:22am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 2:31am<b>EarthDragon</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 4:10am<b>FinJage</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 9:55am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 2:40am

michaeljcaboose's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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michaeljcaboose's favorite FMLs

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Health

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

by anon / 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

by feiedbutter / 12/07/2013 at 9:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my kittens hunted and killed their first prey. My hamster. FML

by Chatons / 12/05/2013 at 1:52am / Switzerland / Animals

Today, my boyfriend announced to me he was sleeping with another girl via alphabet soup. FML

by fries / 11/24/2013 at 11:01am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I discovered that my heart rate is higher while playing Tetris than it is during sex. FML

by TetrisMaster / 11/24/2013 at 7:30am / Australia / Health

Today, my parents grounded me for being "addicted" to drugs because I've been taking pain meds every four hours. I had my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday, and my face is badly swollen. FML

by lauren_crewd / 11/23/2013 at 6:56pm / United States (Alabama) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was mentioning to a coworker how there was a huge lull today in business. A young coworker then turns to me and says in a snooty tone, "I think you mean a 'lol', it's pronounced L-O-L." FML

by shut up. / 11/11/2013 at 5:36am / New Zealand / Work

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

by thank god you'll only live once / 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

by Trapped. / 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

by nl4 / 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Health

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

by #isthisthepoundkey? / 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

by bobosgonnagetyou / 11/01/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

by GymBattle / 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm / United States / Miscellaneous