About michaeljcaboose : I hate babies.
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michaeljcaboose's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Health
Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML
by anon / 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML
by Anonymous / 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML
by feiedbutter / 12/07/2013 at 9:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Chatons / 12/05/2013 at 1:52am / Switzerland / Animals
by fries / 11/24/2013 at 11:01am / United States (New York) / Love
by TetrisMaster / 11/24/2013 at 7:30am / Australia / Health
by lauren_crewd / 11/23/2013 at 6:56pm / United States (Alabama) / Health
by shut up. / 11/11/2013 at 5:36am / New Zealand / Work
by thank god you'll only live once / 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Trapped. / 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
by nl4 / 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Health
by #isthisthepoundkey? / 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML
by bobosgonnagetyou / 11/01/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML
by GymBattle / 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he…