Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

michaelinaa

Search for a member

michaelinaa

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 30 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 54
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

michaelinaa's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

michaelinaa's favorite FMLs

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

#20849713
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42715) - you deserved it (13759)

On 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm - animals - by violated ._. (woman) - United States

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48085) - you deserved it (17155)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

#20832105
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61284) - you deserved it (22330)

On 08/11/2013 at 11:35am - intimacy - by ass slap - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

#20827713
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47470) - you deserved it (17735)

On 08/08/2013 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by fuck my arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

#18403998
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53512) - you deserved it (2978)

On 12/01/2011 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by sometingwong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML

#18391386
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35214) - you deserved it (8057)

On 11/30/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by me - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31211) - you deserved it (15538)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

#18190231
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43668) - you deserved it (7925)

On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

#18134142
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31250) - you deserved it (14662)

On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42194) - you deserved it (8544)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

#17753266
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36203) - you deserved it (23303)

On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband dropped his pants and said, "Why don't you go down and say hello." This is his idea of foreplay. FML

#17734808
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28783) - you deserved it (4835)

On 09/13/2011 at 6:11am - intimacy - by notinterested (woman) - United States

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

#17659578
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36008) - you deserved it (9413)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

#17659023
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12174) - you deserved it (42965)

On 09/04/2011 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Gurior (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59228) - you deserved it (10100)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: