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michaelaranda

Offline (the 07/25/2015 at 4:44am) | Search for a member

michaelaranda

30Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2453
  • Number of comments : 185
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About michaelaranda : Im Brian and im from the bay area. Message me if you want to.

Also, if i landed on your profile, i pressed the "fucks" button, regardless of who you are.

michaelaranda's page activity

Visits<b>Big_Bear99</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:49am<b>AQueenOfDeath</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 12:56am<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 12:14am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 9:36pm<b>INDYSTRUCTABLE</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:02pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 10:35pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 6:49pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:25pm<b>mcronin</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 2:35am<b>damnitstrue</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 2:32am<b>EMOHATE</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:43pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 7:40am<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 9:30pm<b>Markovski</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 2:02am<b>matthewg5</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 4:39am<b>styles829</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 8:28am<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 2:14pm<b>abbyyyyy</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 8:02am

Fucked!<b>AQueenOfDeath</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 6:55am<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 6:14am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:36am<b>damnitstrue</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 8:33am<b>kitkat818</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 8:21pm<b>youngmuller1</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 3:09pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 11:43am<b>rae_siah_3x</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 8:26pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:37am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 12:57am<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 9:49pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 3:13am<b>missblackburn</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:07am<b>Life_sucksXx</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:50pm<b>hallieee</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:15pm<b>WaltzingPhanthom</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 5:43am<b>GhostDuck</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:46pm<b>Ajf92002</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:26pm

michaelaranda's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of michaelaranda's badges

michaelaranda's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

#21333944
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40093) - you deserved it (2471)

On 01/09/2015 at 2:04pm - love - by je suis christy - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML

#21331081
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38587) - you deserved it (2659)

On 01/05/2015 at 1:27am - misc - by shittysituation - United States (California)

Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML

#21330517
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37253) - you deserved it (5281)

On 01/04/2015 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, as I left the supermarket, I found someone had hit my car in the parking lot. There was a note tucked under the wipers. Insurance details? Nope. It just said "Sorry dude. I fucked up. Good luck with the car." Great. FML

#21330094
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28429) - you deserved it (1797)

On 01/03/2015 at 4:16pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML

#21327839
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24954) - you deserved it (44454)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:00pm - kids - by skanula414 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my boyfriend jokingly said that if I didn't pass my exam, he wouldn't have sex with me for a month. I failed it, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. FML

#21319715
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33120) - you deserved it (5061)

On 12/18/2014 at 12:59pm - love - by peteto818 (woman) - Bulgaria (Pernik)

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

#21318416
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35466) - you deserved it (6553)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

#21318238
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31817) - you deserved it (3681)

On 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm - kids - by Lisa - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

#21316987
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32825) - you deserved it (2538)

On 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by ashamed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

#21316166
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33592) - you deserved it (4289)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I last that long. FML

#21315600
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23169) - you deserved it (11146)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by cigarettes - United States

Today, my husband sent me a link to an article titled "5 ways you are unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage." FML

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43321) - you deserved it (3074)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41596) - you deserved it (3801)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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