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michaelaranda

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michaelaranda

45Fucked!

  • Town/Country : San Francisco, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3191
  • Number of comments : 199
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 34 posted

About michaelaranda : Im Brian and im from the bay area. Message me if you want to.

Also, if i landed on your profile, i pressed the "fucks" button, regardless of who you are.

michaelaranda's page activity

Visits<b>BoredomIsReal</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 5:51am<b>secondgradesucks</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 4:48pm<b>dmo4</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 1:32pm<b>MangoLoco</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 8:49am<b>dinosarefriends</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 3:20pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 6:49am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 7:04am<b>jarlballin</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:19am<b>GhastlyLeek</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 9:41am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 7:21am<b>mimiminx</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 5:19am<b>scarlett3diaz</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 1:44am<b>keiNan</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 1:42am<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 5:47am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 3:23am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 9:29pm<b>yoshi061</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 1:08am<b>vriskahs8</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 1:05pm

Fucked!<b>dinosarefriends</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 9:20pm<b>keiNan</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 7:42am<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 6:33pm<b>yoshi061</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 7:08am<b>vriskahs8</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 6:09pm<b>kkkiiitttyyy</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 5:44pm<b>twister45</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 5:09am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 7:22pm<b>Sansa</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 10:40pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 7:23pm<b>blondbombshell13</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 8:07pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 3:05pm<b>dmo4</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 9:12pm<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 6:05am<b>AQueenOfDeath</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 6:55am<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 6:14am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:36am<b>damnitstrue</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 8:33am

michaelaranda's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of michaelaranda's badges

michaelaranda's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML

#21483983
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22692) - you deserved it (7308)

On 10/24/2015 at 10:47pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

#21482104
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24833) - you deserved it (10884)

On 10/20/2015 at 6:13am - love - by bubblewrap (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, my life became a lot more depressing. A while ago, some friends and I founded a "Forever Alone" club, because all of us were single at that time. I'm now the only member left. FML

#21481449
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24606) - you deserved it (2851)

On 10/18/2015 at 1:06pm - love - by Lena (woman) - Germany

Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML

#21479981
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23546) - you deserved it (2172)

On 10/14/2015 at 12:22pm - love - by StillnothowIimaginedmydaygoing (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my best friend told me how his batshit insane girlfriend keeps questioning his sexuality and thinks we're screwing behind her back. He's so desperate for a relationship that he's decided to stop hanging out with me. Goodbye 7 years of friendship. FML

#21479008
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28136) - you deserved it (1653)

On 10/12/2015 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML

#21478533
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12082) - you deserved it (41919)

On 10/11/2015 at 7:45am - kids - by Hank-T4 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took my niece to the zoo. She was crying so I pointed out the chimpanzee to distract her. At the same time, he sat down and began to jack off. My niece won't stop making the same motion. FML

#21476872
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23240) - you deserved it (2094)

On 10/06/2015 at 4:42pm - kids - by elcee1987 - United States (California)

Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML

#21468418
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25876) - you deserved it (1691)

On 09/14/2015 at 3:54pm - love - by meunluckycharms - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and filmed it, because it would "be a big hit on YouTube." FML

#21467706
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26535) - you deserved it (1855)

On 09/12/2015 at 5:34pm - love - by Angie - United States (California)

Today, I found a folder on my boyfriend's computer called "Facebook". It turned out to be a collection of thousands of photos from his female friends' accounts. It was all sorted into folders like "Big Tits", "Blonde", "Cameltoe", "Feet", and "Jailbait". FML

#21467432
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25314) - you deserved it (2678)

On 09/11/2015 at 8:54pm - misc - by WTF (woman) - Australia

Today, I went to a bar which has two stories. I was on the top floor and then went downstairs. As I was going down, I recognised a boy in a wheelchair and his friends trying to get him up. I helped and took the wheelchair. One of his friends decided it would be a good moment to steal my wallet. FML

#21465757
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24710) - you deserved it (1693)

On 09/07/2015 at 5:20pm - money - by sadsadboy - Peru

Today, my neighbor pointed to me and said to his best friend, "This motherfucker still lives with his mama. That's why he can't get no pussy." I'm thirty. My neighbor is eleven, and correct. FML

#21465314
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27441) - you deserved it (7431)

On 09/06/2015 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I started my new job. The first thing my coworkers asked me is what football team I like. When I told them I didn't really like sports, they immediately stopped talking to me and haven't since, even when I ask them work-related questions. FML

#21465159
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23067) - you deserved it (2601)

On 09/06/2015 at 8:46am - work - by NotASportsGuy (man) - United States (New York)



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