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  • Town/Country : San Francisco, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4860
  • Number of comments : 207
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 34 posted

About michaelaranda : Im Brian and im from the bay area. Message me if you want to.

Also, if i landed on your profile, i pressed the "fucks" button, regardless of who you are.

michaelaranda's page activity

Visits<b>Snakemilk</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 8:55pm<b>benjus</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 10:45pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 12:11am<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 1:00pm<b>dougschoonmaker</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 6:07am<b>mfmylifesrsly</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 3:30am<b>leslieshrader</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 7:18pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 2:55pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 7:20am<b>dixie3483</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 2:39am<b>Hyacinth_shmily</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 7:34am<b>SquidJeezy</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 11:51pm<b>Caynicwit</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 10:47pm<b>mindy_stewart8</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 12:20pm<b>janfleury</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 11:58am<b>firemuncher</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 9:18pm<b>gagvl12</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 2:27pm<b>junjunbun</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 11:13am

Fucked!<b>Snakemilk</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 2:55am<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 7:00pm<b>dixie3483</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 8:39am<b>mindy_stewart8</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 6:20pm<b>dinosarefriends</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 9:20pm<b>keiNan</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 7:42am<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 6:33pm<b>yoshi061</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 7:08am<b>vriskahs8</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 6:09pm<b>kkkiiitttyyy</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 5:44pm<b>twister45</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 5:09am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 7:22pm<b>Sansa</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 10:40pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 7:23pm<b>blondbombshell13</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 8:07pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 3:05pm<b>dmo4</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 9:12pm<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 6:05am

michaelaranda's FML badges


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of michaelaranda's badges

michaelaranda's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife said she was going to her friend's place to help her with couponing. She started getting ready at 5pm; shaved her legs, did her hair, put on skin-tight leggings and a low-cut top. Left at 6pm, snuck back in at 2:50am. Shit, couponing must be really exciting. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2016 at 1:15am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my therapist told me to write down my goals for the next five years. After thinking hard for what seemed like forever, all I could come up with was getting a girlfriend and having an FML published. And to be honest, I'm not even sure about that first one. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2016 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was eating breakfast when my little brother goes, "Mommy, what do you do for a living?" and my mom says "I'm a headmaster", and my dad goes, "Oh yeah she is." FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my 10-year-old son introduced me to Tom, his new best friend, and insisted we have him over to dinner. Tom is a slug. FML

by spadesmollusques / 06/06/2016 at 1:13am / France (Alsace) / Kids

Today, my best friend, who reckons I'm doing a terrible job at finding a boyfriend, has started giving out my number to all the men she thinks "look trustworthy" in the subway. FML

by Coeurdencre / 06/05/2016 at 11:33pm / Love

Today, I regret calling my hardass boss a cocksucking bastard when I quit a few months back. My new job just laid me off, and I could desperately use a good reference from the aforementioned cocksucking bastard. FML

by larsn / 06/03/2016 at 4:32pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I got excited because my husband will be away for 5 days, which means I'll be able to deep clean the house. FML

by KiwiMaid / 06/03/2016 at 6:31am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my job as a teacher, I saw a student cut another student's hair, I stopped a group of students from eating glue, and I had to tell a student to put away the toy cars he was playing with. I teach high school math. FML

by Courtney / 05/26/2016 at 8:12am / United States / Work

Today, I had a guest at my house. I stood up to shake her hand and kiss her on both cheeks, which is common in my culture. When she was kissing my cheeks, I went the opposite way from her and I ended up kissing her on the lips instead. Her eyes went big and I ran away. FML

by lmaofuck / 05/25/2016 at 9:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, as always, I'd be so incredibly happy if my girlfriend loved me even half as much as she loves her cat. FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2016 at 1:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML

by longest minute / 05/25/2016 at 7:28am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML

by Anon / 05/23/2016 at 6:49am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, even though my boyfriend knew that I was a devout catholic before he asked me on a date, he's pissed that I keep refusing to have sex. Apparently, he thought I was just playing hard to get and that I would eventually drop my panties like all the other slutty "religious" girls he claims to have fucked. FML

by Bethany / 05/20/2016 at 3:31pm / Germany / Intimacy

Today, I got my grades back. I got a very poor evaluation for my lit class, which was odd because it didn't match the impression from my end-of-class meeting with the professor. It does, however, include a nod to the supposedly-anonymous negative class review I gave her, though. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2016 at 1:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, the only part of my Psychology final that I was 100% confident in was my name. FML

by canwesayfail / 05/17/2016 at 10:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work