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  • Town/Country : San Francisco, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2753
  • Number of comments : 196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 34 posted

About michaelaranda : Im Brian and im from the bay area. Message me if you want to.

Also, if i landed on your profile, i pressed the "fucks" button, regardless of who you are.

michaelaranda's page activity

Visits<b>vriskahs8</b> - 4 hours ago<b>Nail7777</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Relf</b> - yesterday at 1:54pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - yesterday at 11:31am<b>TheTshirt</b> - yesterday at 7:12am<b>shay_serendipity</b> - yesterday at 7:06am<b>junjunbun</b> - yesterday at 7:26pm<b>Mahcookiez</b> - yesterday at 4:44pm<b>flyingl3ap</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 9:57pm<b>Baustigt</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 11:49pm<b>derpman123</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 10:47pm<b>twister45</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 11:18pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 1:22pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 11:38am<b>julia_adamec</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 11:26pm<b>llama_monicz</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 5:04am<b>manthymonkey</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 1:49am<b>Sansa</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 4:40pm

Fucked!<b>vriskahs8</b> - 23 hours ago<b>kkkiiitttyyy</b> - 23 hours ago<b>twister45</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 5:09am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 7:22pm<b>Sansa</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 10:40pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 7:23pm<b>blondbombshell13</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 8:07pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 11:18am<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 3:05pm<b>dmo4</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 9:12pm<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 6:05am<b>AQueenOfDeath</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 6:55am<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 6:14am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:36am<b>damnitstrue</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 8:33am<b>kitkat818</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 8:21pm<b>youngmuller1</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 3:09pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 11:43am

michaelaranda's FML badges


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of michaelaranda's badges

michaelaranda's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28359) - you deserved it (9090)

On 06/06/2015 at 5:11am - misc - by lehonX9 (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28869) - you deserved it (5226)

On 06/05/2015 at 10:14pm - love - by CassidyQueen - United States (Missouri)

Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27433) - you deserved it (2409)

On 06/05/2015 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30870) - you deserved it (3948)

On 06/04/2015 at 8:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38792) - you deserved it (3183)

On 06/03/2015 at 3:22am - intimacy - by W T F (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28104) - you deserved it (4908)

On 06/02/2015 at 3:42am - money - by sorrystupid - United States

Today, it's been so long since I had sex that even in my sex dreams I'm watching porn alone. FML

Today, I learned one of life's great lessons: it is possible to squeeze a Ketchup bottle so hard that the plastic breaks and everything lands on your face. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (5934)

On 05/29/2015 at 6:58am - misc - by sassy_girl144 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31015) - you deserved it (3511)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by shmoooopie (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, one of my students tried to bribe me $200 to change his grade. When I said no and told him he was lucky I didn't report him, he went to the dean and told him I offered to change his grade for money. I'm now suspended and under investigation. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37002) - you deserved it (3204)

On 05/27/2015 at 12:25pm - work - by UN4 (man) - United States

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30055) - you deserved it (4751)

On 05/17/2015 at 10:54pm - intimacy - by fuckingdonuts - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got my driver's license. My dad made multiple copies of his insurance cards for me to give to people when I inevitably hit them. Because "Let's face it." FML

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40827) - you deserved it (2952)

On 04/24/2015 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Laois)

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44820) - you deserved it (3343)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

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  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

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