michaelaranda

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michaelaranda

45Fucked!

  • Town/Country : San Francisco, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3986
  • Number of comments : 200
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 34 posted

About michaelaranda : Im Brian and im from the bay area. Message me if you want to.

Also, if i landed on your profile, i pressed the "fucks" button, regardless of who you are.

michaelaranda's page activity

Visits<b>junjunbun</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 11:13am<b>ThatFMLKid101</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 6:54pm<b>1HateMyUsername</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 2:42pm<b>IdntNOthePASS</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 4:26pm<b>TStiles</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 10:02pm<b>BoredomIsReal</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 5:51am<b>secondgradesucks</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 4:48pm<b>dmo4</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 1:32pm<b>MangoLoco</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 8:49am<b>dinosarefriends</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 3:20pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 6:49am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 7:04am<b>jarlballin</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:19am<b>GhastlyLeek</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 9:41am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 7:21am<b>mimiminx</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 5:19am<b>scarlett3diaz</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 1:44am<b>keiNan</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 1:42am

Fucked!<b>dinosarefriends</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 9:20pm<b>keiNan</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 7:42am<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 6:33pm<b>yoshi061</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 7:08am<b>vriskahs8</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 6:09pm<b>kkkiiitttyyy</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 5:44pm<b>twister45</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 5:09am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 7:22pm<b>Sansa</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 10:40pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 7:23pm<b>blondbombshell13</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 8:07pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 3:05pm<b>dmo4</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 9:12pm<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 6:05am<b>AQueenOfDeath</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 6:55am<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 6:14am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:36am<b>kitkat818</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 8:21pm

michaelaranda's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of michaelaranda's badges

michaelaranda's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked a customer for a number we could call her at to let her know when we'd finished fixing her PC. I'm so desperately lonely that when she wrote it down for me, I got a raging boner. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2016 at 5:01pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I forgot an important book for school, because I dreamt that I was putting it in my bag. My brain somehow classified it as reality. This isn't the first time my dreams have trolled me. FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2016 at 4:13pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met a cute girl. She seemed really sweet and I was heartbroken to find out that she had fallen on hard times and was living in a shelter. I asked her if I could take her out to lunch. She said, "No." I can't even get a date with a homeless girl. FML

by foreverAlone / 04/04/2016 at 3:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, my girlfriend dumped me by text for another man while I was at work. While I worked the drive-thru, a customer noticed me choking back my tears and said "I'd be cryin' too if I worked your dead-end job." FML

by fuck off, for real / 04/03/2016 at 9:26am / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I realized I didn't want to come home from a business trip because I like my job more than my husband. I hate my job. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2016 at 11:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I woke up to 15 texts from my mom, 6 missed calls, and with no bra or shirt on in a random guy's bed. Welcome to spring break, ladies and gentleman. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2016 at 10:53pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my 5-year-old daughter said "Mommy, why doesn't anyone wanna marry you?" I've been asking myself the same question for all too many years. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2016 at 11:36am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I went to Costco and the cashier asked me how I was doing so, to be nice, I asked her back. She said, "I'm fucking horrible, I'm working at Costco," nearly making me spit my drink out. FML

by sorkin15 / 03/24/2016 at 5:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my acne reached a new low. Literally. I'm now getting bright red pimples on my penis. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2016 at 10:36am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I wrote my girlfriend a song. She wrote me a 13-page letter on why we should break up. FML

by Oh / 03/22/2016 at 6:36pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML

by Jake Leiter / 03/20/2016 at 2:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Work

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend's attention by taking my bra off and tossing it at him. He only put it on as a hat and kept playing his video games. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2016 at 4:56pm / United States / Love

Today, I went straight from work to a blind date, and I decided to change in my car at the parking lot. Someone pulled up next to me as I had my ass to the window. It was my date. FML

by ANON / 03/18/2016 at 12:04pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I found out that my sister's kids refer to me as their 'Druncle'. I guess I have to admit to myself that I'm an alcoholic. FML

by drucle / 03/18/2016 at 8:49am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Health

Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML

by Grimmy / 03/17/2016 at 4:12am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous