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michaelaranda

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

michaelaranda

31Fucked!

  • Town/Country : South Gate, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2466
  • Number of comments : 185
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About michaelaranda : Im Brian and im from the bay area. Message me if you want to.

Also, if i landed on your profile, i pressed the "fucks" button, regardless of who you are.

michaelaranda's page activity

Visits<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - yesterday at 12:05am<b>Big_Bear99</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:49am<b>AQueenOfDeath</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 12:56am<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 12:14am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 9:36pm<b>INDYSTRUCTABLE</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:02pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 10:35pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 6:49pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:25pm<b>mcronin</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 2:35am<b>damnitstrue</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 2:32am<b>EMOHATE</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:43pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 7:40am<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 9:30pm<b>Markovski</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 2:02am<b>matthewg5</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 4:39am<b>styles829</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 8:28am<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 2:14pm

Fucked!<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - yesterday at 6:05am<b>AQueenOfDeath</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 6:55am<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 6:14am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:36am<b>damnitstrue</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 8:33am<b>kitkat818</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 8:21pm<b>youngmuller1</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 3:09pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 11:43am<b>rae_siah_3x</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 8:26pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:37am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 12:57am<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 9:49pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 3:13am<b>missblackburn</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:07am<b>Life_sucksXx</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:50pm<b>hallieee</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:15pm<b>WaltzingPhanthom</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 5:43am<b>GhostDuck</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:46pm

michaelaranda's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of michaelaranda's badges

michaelaranda's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned one of life's great lessons: it is possible to squeeze a Ketchup bottle so hard that the plastic breaks and everything lands on your face. FML

#21417490
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22780) - you deserved it (5577)

On 05/29/2015 at 6:58am - misc - by sassy_girl144 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML

#21417382
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28774) - you deserved it (2924)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by shmoooopie (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, one of my students tried to bribe me $200 to change his grade. When I said no and told him he was lucky I didn't report him, he went to the dean and told him I offered to change his grade for money. I'm now suspended and under investigation. FML

#21416617
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36653) - you deserved it (3170)

On 05/27/2015 at 12:25pm - work - by UN4 (man) - United States

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML

#21411735
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27939) - you deserved it (4023)

On 05/17/2015 at 10:54pm - intimacy - by fuckingdonuts - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got my driver's license. My dad made multiple copies of his insurance cards for me to give to people when I inevitably hit them. Because "Let's face it." FML

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

#21399079
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37842) - you deserved it (2463)

On 04/24/2015 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Laois)

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

#21397883
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42156) - you deserved it (2842)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML

#21395729
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27868) - you deserved it (10050)

On 04/18/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

#21389410
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28430) - you deserved it (3404)

On 04/07/2015 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

#21389255
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16864) - you deserved it (42440)

On 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm - love - by NotALuckyGuy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I fell asleep in class... And woke up hour later. My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to see what my face would be like waking up to a new class. FML

#21382364
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25845) - you deserved it (16333)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:27am - misc - by BERNDTOAST - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had my 18th birthday party. At midnight, three police officers showed up at my door and asked if they could look around. Were we doing anything bad? Nope. My friends suck at parking. Before they left, the officers said that this was the most toned down party they'd seen in years. FML

#21379703
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27242) - you deserved it (35)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:20pm - misc - by dicedicebaby - United States (Ohio)

Today, after telling my parents that I want to be a vegetarian, I got grounded. Apparently, "black people can't be vegetarians" and, I'm "crazy for even suggesting something like that." FML

#21378047
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32328) - you deserved it (4622)

On 03/19/2015 at 10:23pm - misc - by shawnsmuffins - United States (Florida)

Today, I was pulled over by a police officer because he thought I was skipping school. I'm 24 and we graduated high school together. FML

#21377506
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36043) - you deserved it (2495)

On 03/19/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)



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