Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

michaelaranda

Offline (yesterday at 7:24am) | Search for a member

michaelaranda

27Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2364
  • Number of comments : 185
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About michaelaranda : Im Brian and im from the bay area. Message me if you want to.

Also, if i landed on your profile, i pressed the "fucks" button, regardless of who you are.

michaelaranda's page activity

Visits<b>mcronin</b> - yesterday at 2:35am<b>damnitstrue</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 2:32am<b>EMOHATE</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:43pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 7:40am<b>INDYSTRUCTABLE</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:03pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 10:03pm<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 9:30pm<b>Markovski</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 2:02am<b>matthewg5</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 4:39am<b>styles829</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 8:28am<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 2:14pm<b>abbyyyyy</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 8:02am<b>lalala96</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 12:19am<b>ExtremeEncounter</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 6:58am<b>warsun</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 2:46am<b>dmcintosh</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 3:53pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 1:43pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 6:30am

Fucked!<b>damnitstrue</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 8:33am<b>kitkat818</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 8:21pm<b>youngmuller1</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 3:09pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 11:43am<b>rae_siah_3x</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 8:26pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:37am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 12:57am<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 9:49pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 3:13am<b>missblackburn</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:07am<b>Life_sucksXx</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:50pm<b>hallieee</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:15pm<b>WaltzingPhanthom</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 5:43am<b>GhostDuck</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:46pm<b>Ajf92002</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:26pm<b>amandalynn84</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 8:35pm<b>DamnBailie</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:59pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:10pm

michaelaranda's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of michaelaranda's badges

michaelaranda's favorite FMLs

Today, one of the guys I work with ran his finger down the back of my shirt and said, "Just checking to see if you're wearing a bra today". FML

Today, while discussing my grades with my mother, she told me that when she was my age she was dumb but hardworking, and my dad was lazy but very smart. She then added, "You managed to get the worst out of each of us." FML

#21372077
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28456) - you deserved it (3148)

On 03/10/2015 at 8:19pm - misc - by Daughter of the year - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

#21372045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (319) - you deserved it (48594)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a haircut. The guy quickly cut off most of the hair above my forehead. When I angrily asked him what he was doing, he said, "Quitting." FML

#21369589
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35419) - you deserved it (2287)

On 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43311) - you deserved it (19608)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML

#21368848
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33752) - you deserved it (7167)

On 03/05/2015 at 7:25pm - misc - by Josh - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68) - you deserved it (158)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, after several sleepless nights full of crying, I went to my university's free help center. After telling the psychologist my problems and asking what to do, he looked at me blankly and said, "Uh, it's not depression, I guess. You should go out more and, like, party some more." FML

#21367402
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30855) - you deserved it (2956)

On 03/03/2015 at 5:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I noticed that my son was less excited about losing a tooth than normal. I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Tyler told me that the tooth fairy died yesterday in a car accident." To which Tyler replied, "You're welcome." FML

#21367147
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29262) - you deserved it (2413)

On 03/03/2015 at 8:14am - kids - by Mommycakes (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18780) - you deserved it (55546)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend confessed to cheating on me. Unfortunately, she's a pathological liar and I can't be sure if it's really true, along with half the stuff she tells me on a daily basis. Love is hard. FML

#21356609
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29646) - you deserved it (9908)

On 02/15/2015 at 11:02am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

#21349028
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34531) - you deserved it (2339)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, a booklet came in the mail, addressed to me and titled "How To Train Your Wife". I didn't order it but my wife doesn't believe me. FML

Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML

#21346882
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30034) - you deserved it (5212)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. In the middle of it he said, "I want us to be covalent bonds". I didn't understand what he meant, and he actually stopped to explain it to me. FML

#21346746
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25921) - you deserved it (6893)

On 01/30/2015 at 10:11am - intimacy - by Chemist-why (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: