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michaelaranda

Offline (the 07/25/2015 at 4:44am) | Search for a member

michaelaranda

30Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2452
  • Number of comments : 185
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About michaelaranda : Im Brian and im from the bay area. Message me if you want to.

Also, if i landed on your profile, i pressed the "fucks" button, regardless of who you are.

michaelaranda's page activity

Visits<b>Big_Bear99</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:49am<b>AQueenOfDeath</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 12:56am<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 12:14am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 9:36pm<b>INDYSTRUCTABLE</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:02pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 10:35pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 6:49pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:25pm<b>mcronin</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 2:35am<b>damnitstrue</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 2:32am<b>EMOHATE</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:43pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 7:40am<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 9:30pm<b>Markovski</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 2:02am<b>matthewg5</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 4:39am<b>styles829</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 8:28am<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 2:14pm<b>abbyyyyy</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 8:02am

Fucked!<b>AQueenOfDeath</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 6:55am<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 6:14am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:36am<b>damnitstrue</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 8:33am<b>kitkat818</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 8:21pm<b>youngmuller1</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 3:09pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 11:43am<b>rae_siah_3x</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 8:26pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:37am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 12:57am<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 9:49pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 3:13am<b>missblackburn</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:07am<b>Life_sucksXx</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:50pm<b>hallieee</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:15pm<b>WaltzingPhanthom</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 5:43am<b>GhostDuck</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:46pm<b>Ajf92002</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:26pm

michaelaranda's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of michaelaranda's badges

michaelaranda's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML

#21430924
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32105) - you deserved it (1810)

On 06/23/2015 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

#21429349
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25528) - you deserved it (2992)

On 06/21/2015 at 2:04am - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29764) - you deserved it (12275)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my coworker decided to give me "the talk". I'm 21 and not a virgin, yet most of what she said was new to me. FML

#21426929
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27048) - you deserved it (4478)

On 06/16/2015 at 8:05am - intimacy - by poorlyparented - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were hanging out when he suddenly said, "Do you know who I think is the most beautiful girl in the world?" I prepared myself for a cute compliment, until he showed me a picture of another girl. FML

#21423616
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26310) - you deserved it (2221)

On 06/09/2015 at 10:44pm - love - by storyofmylife - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I had my first driving lesson. I learned how to be stopped by a cop, who told me what a horrible driver I was. FML

#21422346
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21311) - you deserved it (3348)

On 06/07/2015 at 2:23pm - misc - by unhappy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

#21421662
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27476) - you deserved it (8544)

On 06/06/2015 at 5:11am - misc - by lehonX9 (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

#21421518
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27847) - you deserved it (4976)

On 06/05/2015 at 10:14pm - love - by CassidyQueen - United States (Missouri)

Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML

#21421289
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26539) - you deserved it (2152)

On 06/05/2015 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML

#21420621
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29539) - you deserved it (3769)

On 06/04/2015 at 8:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

#21420087
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36475) - you deserved it (2556)

On 06/03/2015 at 3:22am - intimacy - by W T F (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML

#21419568
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27324) - you deserved it (4707)

On 06/02/2015 at 3:42am - money - by sorrystupid - United States

Today, it's been so long since I had sex that even in my sex dreams I'm watching porn alone. FML

Today, I learned one of life's great lessons: it is possible to squeeze a Ketchup bottle so hard that the plastic breaks and everything lands on your face. FML

#21417490
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22776) - you deserved it (5577)

On 05/29/2015 at 6:58am - misc - by sassy_girl144 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML

#21417382
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28759) - you deserved it (2923)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by shmoooopie (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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