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michaelaranda

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michaelaranda

9Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1980
  • Number of comments : 184
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About michaelaranda : Im Brian and im from the bay area. Message me if you want to.

I have no idea what the "fucks" button means, but im giving them to everyone now.

michaelaranda's page activity

Visits<b>Markovski</b> - 2 hours ago<b>DamnBailie</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Ann_Onyme</b> - 10 hours ago<b>ana_lee_bonde</b> - 24 hours ago<b>BoredomIsReal</b> - yesterday at 4:12pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - yesterday at 10:20am<b>higgysaurus</b> - yesterday at 9:26am<b>HedgeSquid</b> - yesterday at 8:13am<b>secondgradesucks</b> - yesterday at 7:55am<b>hoosiergirl94</b> - yesterday at 1:19am<b>pikachu_43</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 5:24pm<b>ElEsThoCle</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 1:45pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:02am<b>TheDude992</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 1:23am<b>toma1945</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 12:28am<b>noik01</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 11:35am<b>GhostDuck</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 4:56pm<b>beaglegal</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:55am

Liked!<b>toma1945</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:29am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 4:49am<b>BoredomIsReal</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 3:45am<b>noik01</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 5:35pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 11:49am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 6:22am<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:06pm<b>YouHaveANiceButt</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:18am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 2:16am

michaelaranda's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of michaelaranda's badges

michaelaranda's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

#21349028
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34395) - you deserved it (2331)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, a booklet came in the mail, addressed to me and titled "How To Train Your Wife". I didn't order it but my wife doesn't believe me. FML

Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML

#21346882
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29957) - you deserved it (5200)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. In the middle of it he said, "I want us to be covalent bonds". I didn't understand what he meant, and he actually stopped to explain it to me. FML

#21346746
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25645) - you deserved it (6816)

On 01/30/2015 at 10:11am - intimacy - by Chemist-why (woman) - United States (California)

Today, instead of taking down the Christmas tree, my sister covered it with Valentine's Day decorations. FML

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

#21333944
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39933) - you deserved it (2463)

On 01/09/2015 at 2:04pm - love - by je suis christy - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML

#21331081
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38518) - you deserved it (2650)

On 01/05/2015 at 1:27am - misc - by shittysituation - United States (California)

Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML

#21330517
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37136) - you deserved it (5261)

On 01/04/2015 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, as I left the supermarket, I found someone had hit my car in the parking lot. There was a note tucked under the wipers. Insurance details? Nope. It just said "Sorry dude. I fucked up. Good luck with the car." Great. FML

#21330094
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28308) - you deserved it (1786)

On 01/03/2015 at 4:16pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML

#21327839
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23404) - you deserved it (42534)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:00pm - kids - by skanula414 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my boyfriend jokingly said that if I didn't pass my exam, he wouldn't have sex with me for a month. I failed it, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. FML

#21319715
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31455) - you deserved it (4616)

On 12/18/2014 at 12:59pm - love - by peteto818 (woman) - Bulgaria (Pernik)

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

#21318416
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35204) - you deserved it (6527)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

#21318238
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31679) - you deserved it (3667)

On 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm - kids - by Lisa - United States (Missouri)



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