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Offline (17 hours ago)



  • Town/Country : San Francisco, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4891
  • Number of comments : 207
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 34 posted

About michaelaranda : Im Brian and im from the bay area. Message me if you want to.

Also, if i landed on your profile, i pressed the "fucks" button, regardless of who you are.

michaelaranda's page activity

Visits<b>Snakemilk</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 8:55pm<b>benjus</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 10:45pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 12:11am<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 1:00pm<b>dougschoonmaker</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 6:07am<b>mfmylifesrsly</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 3:30am<b>leslieshrader</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 7:18pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 2:55pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 7:20am<b>dixie3483</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 2:39am<b>Hyacinth_shmily</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 7:34am<b>SquidJeezy</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 11:51pm<b>Caynicwit</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 10:47pm<b>mindy_stewart8</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 12:20pm<b>janfleury</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 11:58am<b>firemuncher</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 9:18pm<b>gagvl12</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 2:27pm<b>junjunbun</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 11:13am

Fucked!<b>Snakemilk</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 2:55am<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 7:00pm<b>dixie3483</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 8:39am<b>mindy_stewart8</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 6:20pm<b>dinosarefriends</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 9:20pm<b>keiNan</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 7:42am<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 6:33pm<b>yoshi061</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 7:08am<b>vriskahs8</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 6:09pm<b>kkkiiitttyyy</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 5:44pm<b>twister45</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 5:09am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 7:22pm<b>Sansa</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 10:40pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 7:23pm<b>blondbombshell13</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 8:07pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 3:05pm<b>dmo4</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 9:12pm<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 6:05am

michaelaranda's FML badges


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of michaelaranda's badges

michaelaranda's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out what happens when you sleep with a girl your chemistry major friend likes. He put silver nitrate in my body wash and shampoo. I look like I survived an explosion in a Sharpie factory. He says it'll come off "in a few days". FML

by dude i am so sorry / 09/19/2016 at 3:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I finally have a job I love with amazing people I call family and a fantastic boss. I've been here 8 months, and I'm doing a great job, I feel like I could work here forever! My most recent project? Printing our "Store closing sale" signs for liquidation. We permanently close in 7 weeks. FML

by mischalucksux / 09/19/2016 at 9:54am / United States / Work

Today, I was told I have narcolepsy, and I've it for a year and a half. When asked why I didn't go to a doctor before, I answered that I'd always assumed it was a normal adult thing to fall asleep randomly because of how everyone says they're always exhausted. Apparently not. FML

by littlekellilee / 09/16/2016 at 12:27am / Canada / Health

Today, it's my birthday. The only gift I got was a book on the history of cancers. Not the illness, the zodiac sign. I'm a Virgo. I don't even like astrology. FML

by stupidpplsuck / 09/15/2016 at 4:41am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my extremely racist coworker was doing his usual thing. Since it was 9/11 he went absolutely hardcore on his "jokes" so I reported it to my supervisor. She asked what did he say specifically and I recited it to her. She decided to write me up for "making inappropriate comments at work". FML

by epicgamer / 09/12/2016 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, as I was walking up to a urinal I heard a small hiss. I looked up just in time to get an eye full of chemicals from the automatic air freshener. I rinsed my eye out and went back to the urinal. It happened again. FML

by el_Jeffe_D / 09/11/2016 at 12:05pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog brought me his squeaky toy to throw for him. I went to throw it down the hallway but it hit the door and bounced about a foot in front of him. He just stared at me for a minute like I was dumb, then took it to my boyfriend to throw. I disappoint even my dog. FML

by nattnatt73 / 09/10/2016 at 3:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML

by gothchick201013 / 09/09/2016 at 2:43pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, my workplace instituted a policy in which employees must stop and write down what they are doing every fifteen minutes. FML

by Gottabekidding / 09/08/2016 at 8:33pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, my co-worker, who used to be in a frat with me in college, decided to tell all my coworkers as well as my boss all the stupid things I did in college, starting with the time a girl stole my clothes and I had to walk across campus naked. FML

by fretting / 09/08/2016 at 1:02pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my boyfriend's obsession with card tricks reached a new low. He barged into the bathroom while I was taking a crap and asked me to pick a card. FML

by limegreenpoopie / 09/06/2016 at 9:38am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I realized just how shy and awkward I really am when I averted my eyes to avoid making eye contact with someone who turned out to be a cardboard cut-out. FML

by SuperShy / 09/06/2016 at 12:29am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I logged onto Tinder to see if I had any messages. I had one: "Get off Tinder." FML

by Thay / 09/01/2016 at 6:28pm / United States / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. It wouldn't be so bad if we weren't stuck rooming together for the rest of a semester that hasn't even started yet. FML

by outofluckatcollege / 08/27/2016 at 3:33am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I found out that one of my colleagues believes that aliens built the pyramids. No amount of logical reasoning or evidence has had any effect on his argument of, "but you can't prove they didn't." FML

by Anonymous / 08/22/2016 at 7:49am / Australia / Work