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michaelaranda

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michaelaranda

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1514
  • Number of comments : 178
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About michaelaranda : Im Brian and im from the bay area. Message me if you want to.

michaelaranda's page activity

Visits<b>JayDay_123</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 1:48am<b>NebulaNick</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:35am<b>mzcupcakez</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 1:52am<b>xborntodie</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 8:06pm<b>mk1hate1my1job1</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 12:55pm<b>dryersheet</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 2:18am<b>Betz_00</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 10:41pm<b>Devindelon</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 8:47am<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 7:32pm<b>FoTheWin</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 10:54pm<b>fuggotmuggot</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 9:39pm<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 11:08pm<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 5:32pm<b>lizardFace</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 7:19am<b>patrickeli</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 3:12am<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 12:13am<b>amirahgomez</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 5:35pm<b>YouHaveANiceButt</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 1:30am

Liked!<b>YouHaveANiceButt</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:18am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 2:16am

michaelaranda's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I’m your new creative director

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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michaelaranda's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend jokingly said that if I didn't pass my exam, he wouldn't have sex with me for a month. I failed it, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. FML

#21319715
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27721) - you deserved it (4218)

On 12/18/2014 at 12:59pm - love - by peteto818 (woman) - Bulgaria (Pernik)

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

#21318416
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30822) - you deserved it (5937)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

#21318238
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29572) - you deserved it (3530)

On 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm - kids - by Lisa - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

#21316987
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31307) - you deserved it (2527)

On 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by ashamed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

#21316166
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31086) - you deserved it (3826)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I last that long. FML

#21315600
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21355) - you deserved it (9901)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by cigarettes - United States

Today, my husband sent me a link to an article titled "5 ways you are unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage." FML

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40936) - you deserved it (2733)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40181) - you deserved it (3420)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I left my desk to go to the bathroom. I arrived back at my desk to a large package of SlimQuick packets. Guess my coworkers think I need to lose weight. FML

#21291592
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27694) - you deserved it (3011)

On 11/03/2014 at 10:38pm - work - by blondieforlife - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was dressed as a single girl. I wore pajama pants, hoodie with no bra, and carried a plate of pizza around. But it wasn't my costume, I just had nowhere to go for Halloween. FML

#21289481
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32240) - you deserved it (4457)

On 11/01/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by 4evalone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend thought she would "save me some time" by spoiling Game of Thrones. FML

#21288916
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28148) - you deserved it (3698)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32605) - you deserved it (4552)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32235) - you deserved it (3363)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, my friends came over to my house to eat my food and make fun of me as they played on my Xbox. FML

#21260159
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31897) - you deserved it (7714)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:56pm - misc - by iAmJasper - United States (Wisconsin)



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