micgelleya

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Offline (the 02/12/2014 at 5:07am)

micgelleya

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1586
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About micgelleya : Just keep swimming... Yes, I love swimming. I am on a competitive swim team. Let 'em eat our bubbles!!!

micgelleya's page activity

Visits<b>cj89898</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 1:13pm<b>Theater_Chef_3</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 12:53am<b>agustibaarn</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 7:15am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 2:47am<b>swimma4life24</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 1:35pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:32pm<b>xXDemonWolfXx</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 7:18pm<b>zzlin</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 3:24am<b>BabyFranco</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 3:40pm<b>shortnsweet00</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 1:25am<b>leazure</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 3:31pm<b>atl904</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 8:29pm<b>koreamaniac101</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 6:21pm<b>colinlb</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 8:20am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 4:07pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 2:02pm<b>crazytwinsmom</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 1:39am<b>Calaraphea</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 3:02am

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micgelleya's favorite FMLs

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML

by Ian Artis / 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States / Work

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

by LNamesOnly / 07/09/2012 at 3:31am / Australia / Kids

Today, I found out that my wife and two teenage daughters' periods are all one week after the other. I am living in hell almost every single day. FML

by anonymous / 06/14/2012 at 10:54am / China (Jiangsu) / Health

Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2012 at 2:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML

by ...... / 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm / United States / Health

Today, I was at a restaurant with my kids. I told my 13 year old about how the very first time she said she loved me. She was 2 and it was at this very restaurant. I told her the details and even started tearing up a little. She didn't even look up from her cell phone and said, "That's fab, ma." FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:33pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

by gottalovefriends / 04/23/2012 at 12:04am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML

by Ashamed / 04/20/2012 at 3:34am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

by Kayla / 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm / United States / Health

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

by virginkiller / 03/03/2012 at 8:23am / Singapore / Intimacy

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

by district12 / 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Health

Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML

by inked / 02/05/2012 at 12:54am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

by Vitriol / 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm / France / Love

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous