micgelleya

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Offline (the 02/12/2014 at 5:07am)

micgelleya

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1220
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About micgelleya : Just keep swimming... Yes, I love swimming. I am on a competitive swim team. Let 'em eat our bubbles!!!

micgelleya's page activity

Visits<b>cj89898</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 1:13pm<b>Theater_Chef_3</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 12:53am<b>agustibaarn</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 7:15am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 2:47am<b>swimma4life24</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 1:35pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:32pm<b>xXDemonWolfXx</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 7:18pm<b>zzlin</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 3:24am<b>BabyFranco</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 3:40pm<b>shortnsweet00</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 1:25am<b>leazure</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 3:31pm<b>atl904</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 8:29pm<b>koreamaniac101</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 6:21pm<b>colinlb</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 8:20am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 4:07pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 2:02pm<b>crazytwinsmom</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 1:39am<b>Calaraphea</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 3:02am

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micgelleya's favorite FMLs

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

by Ashley / 10/07/2013 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2013 at 11:19am / United States (Arkansas) / Kids

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm / Belgium (West-Vlaanderen) / Intimacy

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2013 at 10:38am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from a long shift at work to find that my roommate had completely rearranged all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposed to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bed is in the living room. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 8:00pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

by lsababy / 06/11/2013 at 2:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 2:02am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

by thefriedman / 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

by DogLover / 02/06/2013 at 8:59am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

by catdog / 01/02/2013 at 1:07am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

by SpanishInFrenchClass / 12/06/2012 at 12:35am / United States / Work

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

by CutestBoysEver / 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

by Medic / 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

by blakeintheoffice / 08/08/2012 at 9:53am / United States / Work