miasaur

Search for a member

Offline (the 09/27/2014 at 6:12pm)

miasaur

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3880
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

miasaur's page activity

Visits<b>jbivens1992</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 3:43pm<b>sandormatyi</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 11:45am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 3:54pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:48am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 2:39pm<b>ZorroRooster</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 11:38pm<b>nc_1999</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 5:00pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 1:51pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:32am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 7:41am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 2:58pm<b>Kranthi</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 7:20am<b>CallMeWindSock</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:31am<b>Gemma_Mansonite</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 3:22am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 4:44am<b>drummer1017</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 11:52pm<b>unicorn_rainbows</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 9:27pm<b>charliehorse96_</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 1:02am

Fucked!<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 9:54pm

miasaur's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of miasaur's badges

miasaur's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2014 at 10:16pm / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 7:37am / United Kingdom (Wolverhampton) / Kids

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

by heyhijello / 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

by anon / 09/09/2013 at 11:15am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm / Switzerland (Bern) / Work

Today, my boyfriend took me to a very elegant and expensive restaurant to celebrate our anniversary. When it came to the check, I volunteered to pitch in half, which he rejected by saying "I got it". Little did I know was that "I got it" was short for "I got your credit card". FML

by IGOTIT / 09/05/2013 at 3:24am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I realized I love my boyfriend's cat more than my boyfriend. The only reason we're still together is I don't want to lose custody of the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the 3 books. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2013 at 4:06am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, a man pulled a knife on me just so he could mug me of the cigarette I was smoking. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2013 at 7:29pm / Switzerland / Health

Today, my fiancé asked for money to bail his brother out of jail, the same brother who happily spent a whole day recently trying to convince my fiancé that I've been cheating on him with my own cousin. So I said no. He shook his head in disgust and said that I'm "unbelievably spiteful". FML

by go choke on a gonad / 08/08/2013 at 9:13am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 7:10am / Latvia (Jelgavas) / Health

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

by right / 08/02/2013 at 10:08am / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2013 at 3:36am / United States (Arizona) / Love