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miaoucore's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 3:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 7:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, just like the last several days, I walked out to my car after class only to notice the Justin Beiber stickers arranged on my bumper and license plates. My dad put them there, and thinks it's just as hilarious as the first time. He has four packs of stickers left. FML
by NonBelieber / 09/18/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Alabama) / Transportation
Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML
by meganmagee / 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/14/2013 at 5:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, while chatting with a friend online, I told her that Kristen Stewart isn't going to star in the 50 Shades movie as she originally thought. She then spammed me with so many "NO"/"NO WAY" messages that my crappy laptop froze up, forcing me to reboot and lose a ton of unsaved essay notes. FML
by CHEERS, TUMBLTARD / 09/13/2013 at 5:31pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/13/2013 at 2:53am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
by ellen77 / 09/13/2013 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Work
by Frenchie / 09/12/2013 at 5:24pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by ugh Buck! / 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 10:16am / United States (Oregon) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/10/2013 at 9:23am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 09/09/2013 at 11:15am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely… Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed… Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML