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mfjkr's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML
by Laura / 10/08/2011 at 12:49am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 6:59am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML
by Punk / 06/07/2011 at 4:07pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/11/2011 at 10:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I moved to Florida because I have poor circulation and need to be in a warm environment. The first day at my new job, I discovered my co-worker is an overweight man who wears a wool suit every day, and insists on keeping the office chilled to 65 degrees. I can't feel my fingers or toes. FML
by lpspann87 / 04/25/2011 at 1:02pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by mottephobe / 04/06/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Utah) / Animals
by paige / 03/31/2011 at 11:18pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 03/19/2011 at 1:53am / United States / Transportation
by Anonymous / 12/14/2010 at 6:24pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
Today, there were some wasps getting in my bedroom from a hole in the frame of my window. I went outside with some spray and took out their entrance. What I didnt know is that when you spray wasps, they go the other direction. I now have 60+ wasps flying around my bedroom. FML
by BearGrillz / 08/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
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- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, I returned home from college. I found out that my dad ran over my cat months ago and tried… 3Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After…