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mfarmer527

Offline (the 11/12/2014 at 2:14pm) | Search for a member

mfarmer527

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 June 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 144
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mfarmer527 : Hi.

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

mfarmer527's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52168) - you deserved it (16860)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

#21185495
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49318) - you deserved it (5491)

On 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

#20526083
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36808) - you deserved it (10649)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found covered in Astroglide, racing each other down the corridor on their bellies. My boss noticed my absence from work, and now my son and I are both on suspension. FML

#20526049
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27269) - you deserved it (8768)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

#20525332
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16236) - you deserved it (34661)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)

Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML

#20524519
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33651) - you deserved it (3886)

On 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by DumbCuntApparently (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

#20524344
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36157) - you deserved it (6037)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish bi-product. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

#20502144
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31705) - you deserved it (3928)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, my furnace broke down, almost a month after its twenty year warranty expired. It would have been replaced for free. Now I'm going to have to take out a loan to afford the $4,000 replacement. FML

#20500397
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26329) - you deserved it (2295)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by chillyinside - Canada

Today, I was at an estate sale of my neighbor who recently passed. I recognized many items for sale that I had ordered or won on eBay from the past 8 years. Turns out the little old lady had been stealing my mail for close to a decade. FML

#20496903
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37845) - you deserved it (3408)

On 02/07/2013 at 10:24am - misc - by GarageSallin (man) -

Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML

#20496769
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40422) - you deserved it (2480)

On 02/07/2013 at 4:51am - misc - by fviz (woman) - United States

Today, I told my sister that boys are stronger than girls. She responded by beating the living crap out of me to prove me wrong. She's twelve. I'm eighteen. FML

#20496678
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11418) - you deserved it (55792)

On 02/07/2013 at 1:57am - misc - by manhandled by a little girl (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35197) - you deserved it (14581)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20922) - you deserved it (1456)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I told my boss I could handle running the floor buffer. Thirty seconds in, I lost control and became pinned to the wall by its force. In my state of shock and embarrassment, I didn't realize the only thing keeping me trapped was my grip on the accelerator. FML

#20164988
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6463) - you deserved it (19461)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:04am - work - by rubberduck1 - United States (Illinois)



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