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mexeuphemism

Offline (the 12/18/2014 at 9:04am) | Search for a member

mexeuphemism

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 296
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Stephanie001_</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:40pm<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:21pm<b>LynxieLynx</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 4:36pm<b>biankahhh</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 12:28pm<b>SavannahSunshine</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 10:55pm<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 9:01pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 5:07am<b>Replicakes</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 7:49pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 9:44pm<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 9:35pm

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mexeuphemism's favorite FMLs

Today, I picked up a co-worker from the airport. As she got in the car, she looked over at me and said, "I'm still not sleeping with you". This was our second conversation. The first is when she asked if I could pick her up from the airport. FML

#21187469
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50040) - you deserved it (5434)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by headdesk (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58644) - you deserved it (7491)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I regretfully confessed to my parents I have trichotillomania. There was a torturous pause, followed by the question, "Are you gay?" FML

#20575858
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29804) - you deserved it (4540)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:23am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

#20495499
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43268) - you deserved it (4020)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend tickled me. In between laughs, I warned him that I was going to pee myself. He didn't believe me. After I actually did, he suggested we use a "safety word" from now on so that he will know when I'm being serious. FML

#14691399
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25412) - you deserved it (4234)

On 01/23/2011 at 9:47pm - misc - by embarrassed2 (woman) - United States

Today, we ordered pizza. A long wait and several phone calls later, we found out that someone met the delivery person at the end of our driveway, signed our receipt, and stole our pizza. Way to check the credit card pizza people. FML

#14690774
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25375) - you deserved it (2570)

On 01/23/2011 at 9:06pm - money - by deepblue (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

#14610612
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44032) - you deserved it (3001) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML

#11434783
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89577) - you deserved it (5867)

On 06/24/2010 at 8:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was checking out my boyfriend's facebook profile. I saw that he had just taken the "How long will it take for your girldriend to realize you're cheating on her?" Quiz. FML

#4034087
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49304) - you deserved it (5215)

On 07/25/2009 at 5:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mum called and told me she had bought me a new, white dish washer for my apartment because it doesn't have one. I was SO excited and told her I'd pay her back as soon as I could. I only had to pay her $1.25. She bought me a sponge. FML

#3650725
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40141) - you deserved it (7824)

On 07/10/2009 at 9:09pm - money - by thanksalot (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML

#1681747
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62522) - you deserved it (7223)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Jinthebar (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML

#683803
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65034) - you deserved it (24106)

On 03/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by Hotsauce887 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his college and when I walked into the dorm he was lying in his bed with another girl. When he saw me he simply said, "April Fool's!" It's March 19th. FML

#461201
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (139165) - you deserved it (8582)

On 03/19/2009 at 3:40am - intimacy - by cmerr (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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