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mexeuphemism

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mexeuphemism
  • Town/Country : lubbock TX
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 128
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mexeuphemism's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39490) - you deserved it (4594)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

#20495499
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39908) - you deserved it (3731)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend tickled me. In between laughs, I warned him that I was going to pee myself. He didn't believe me. After I actually did, he suggested we use a "safety word" from now on so that he will know when I'm being serious. FML

#14691399
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23470) - you deserved it (4050)

On 01/23/2011 at 9:47pm - misc - by embarrassed2 (woman) - United States

Today, we ordered pizza. A long wait and several phone calls later, we found out that someone met the delivery person at the end of our driveway, signed our receipt, and stole our pizza. Way to check the credit card pizza people. FML

#14690774
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21312) - you deserved it (2256)

On 01/23/2011 at 9:06pm - money - by deepblue (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

#14610612
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41447) - you deserved it (2813) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML

#11434783
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86837) - you deserved it (5668)

On 06/24/2010 at 8:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was checking out my boyfriend's facebook profile. I saw that he had just taken the "How long will it take for your girldriend to realize you're cheating on her?" Quiz. FML

#4034087
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43414) - you deserved it (4018)

On 07/25/2009 at 5:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mum called and told me she had bought me a new, white dish washer for my apartment because it doesn't have one. I was SO excited and told her I'd pay her back as soon as I could. I only had to pay her $1.25. She bought me a sponge. FML

#3650725
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38269) - you deserved it (7585)

On 07/10/2009 at 9:09pm - money - by thanksalot (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML

#1681747
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57905) - you deserved it (6718)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Jinthebar (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his college and when I walked into the dorm he was lying in his bed with another girl. When he saw me he simply said, "April Fool's!" It's March 19th. FML

#461201
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132148) - you deserved it (8036)

On 03/19/2009 at 3:40am - intimacy - by cmerr (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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