About methatswho : yeah, so, i'm me, no one else.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9882) - you deserved it (26067)
On 09/10/2009 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 45 minutes. I am an elevator mechanic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30951) - you deserved it (4661)
On 09/10/2009 at 2:02am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30612) - you deserved it (5697)
On 09/10/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Embarassed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27250) - you deserved it (1919)
On 09/09/2009 at 7:30pm - work - by slashteddy (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I hadn't popped the question to her yet. For the last six months, I have been respectfully trying to convince her over protective father to give me his blessing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35130) - you deserved it (3323)
On 09/09/2009 at 7:11pm - love - by K-9cop (man) - United States
Today, we went to the mall and my husband picked me out some perfume. When I asked him why he liked that particular one he responded with, "that's what's the stripper at my bachelor party was wearing." He was completely serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29969) - you deserved it (2775)
On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - love - by m - United States
Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32577) - you deserved it (3464)
On 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm - kids - by WOCOACH (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boss asked to use my phone since the company pays for it. A few hours later the same boss called me into his office to fire me. Apparently the company checks the phone records and found a call made on my cell to a sex line. My boss made that call and just fired me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43191) - you deserved it (3031)
On 09/09/2009 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by Somessedup (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (136536) - you deserved it (10960)
On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7996) - you deserved it (34326)
On 09/09/2009 at 9:21am - animals - by GoodDog (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I decided to go get my hair cut because it was getting a bit long. I told the lady that I wanted it way short and she replied "Why? You will look like a guy sweetie." I am a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34131) - you deserved it (4976)
On 09/09/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by theboywithlonghair (man) - United States (California)
Today, I played a goth character in my friend's student film with goth clothes, lip ring, eyeliner, etc. We went into Starbucks at break and an elderly man came up to me and said "Your kind is the reason for all the bad stuff in this world" and then spat in my $5 drink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35621) - you deserved it (3752)
On 09/09/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by comet5002 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I washed one of my roommates t-shirts. I forgot to remove it before putting it in the dryer, and all the print on the front melted off. It was a gift from his girlfriend. Who has just passed away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38623) - you deserved it (12523)
On 09/08/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by whyme27 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46932) - you deserved it (2710)
On 09/08/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by dude5028 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was listening to my iPod while changing the diaper on my baby. One earbud fell out of my ear and onto the changing table so I quickly picked it up without looking and put it back in my ear, only to realize the headphone had fallen onto more than a table. I now have brown earphones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10365) - you deserved it (31967)
On 09/08/2009 at 3:32pm - misc - by NoMoreHeadphones (woman) - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
