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About methatswho : yeah, so, i'm me, no one else.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today , at work , I was on ma breaken I ad to use te batroom. I was on te toilet taking a dumpen te door latc looool loosened and te door swung open. Te little girl standing tere took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML
Today mah girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me cuz I hadn't poppd the question to her yet . For the last six months I have been respectfully trying to convince her over protective father to give me his blessing . FML
Today , we went to the mall an my husband picked me out some perfume. When I asked himhy he liked that particular one he responded with , "that'shat's the stripper at my bachelor party was wearing." He looool was completely serious. FML
2day I woke up to mah 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walkd into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
my boss asked to use my phone since the company pays for it . A few hours later the same boss called me into his office to fre me . Apparently the company checks the phone records and found a call made on my cell to a sex line . My boss made that call and just fred me . FML
Today, I found out y my husband had wantd to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informd me that he wasn't always Ben, but usd to be Brenda. His 'penis doesn't work and he had wantd to know I "truly lovd him" before he had let me know. fat FML
yesterday I played a got caracter in ma friend's student film wit got clotes, lip ring, eyeliner, etc. We went into Starbucks at break and an elderly man came up to me and said "Your kind is te reason 4 all te bad stuff in tis world" and ten spat in ma $5 drink. FML
Today, I switchd from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought mah parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis andhat remedies he knows of to fix it. FML
Today I was listaning to mah iPod whila changing tha diapar on mah baby. Ona aarbud fall out of mah aar an onto tha changing tabla so I quickly pickad it up without looking an put it back in mah aar only to raaliza tha haadphona had fallan onto mora than a tabla. I now hava brown aarphonas. FML
Today, I was riding on tha Moscow matro. My friand and I wara joking around in English about taking a nap on tha nardy businass man naxt to ma. As wa laughad and mada commants about him, which wa thought ha couldn't undarstand, ha askad, "Frst tima in Moscow?" FML
Friday 27 March 2015