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metalmusic

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  • Title : Miss
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  • Number of visits : 1709
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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metalmusic's page activity

Visits<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 5:25pm<b>alexloz_au</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:02am<b>Jenmic</b> - the 01/13/2011 at 4:55am<b>Sichumor</b> - the 07/06/2010 at 12:24am<b>shaBAMalex</b> - the 05/30/2010 at 8:45pm<b>perdix</b> - the 02/21/2010 at 9:25am

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metalmusic's favorite FMLs

Today, I turned 30 years old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML

#2429850
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52879) - you deserved it (2627)

On 05/30/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by willieboom (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML

#2406815
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47440) - you deserved it (4778)

On 05/29/2009 at 5:09pm - health - by PiZzA_FaCe (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend who lives in China contacted me and told me she'd been harassed by a guy and was thinking about pressing charges. The guy is someone I know from college - he promised me he would say "hi" to her for me while he was in Shanghai. FML

#2339786
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50964) - you deserved it (4702)

On 05/27/2009 at 12:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729
734 comments

I agree, your life sucks (275318) - you deserved it (145914)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML

#1927832
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62077) - you deserved it (5807)

On 05/14/2009 at 11:24am - kids - by TwinDad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying, "I can come over today. She thinks I've got work." I think he had the wrong number. FML

#1815283
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78747) - you deserved it (3679)

On 05/10/2009 at 2:46pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98999) - you deserved it (22731)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML

#1681747
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62494) - you deserved it (7221)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Jinthebar (man) - United States (California)

Today, I turned 35. I was given my first-ever orgasm by the best lover I've ever had: a massaging shower head from Wal-Mart. That I bought for myself. It was the only gift I received. FML

#1475215
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100714) - you deserved it (16274)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after finally giving up on the search for my lost dog, I realized that my neighbors had found her and are convinced that she was a stray. They won't give her up and are now mad at me for trying to take my own dog back. FML

#1078631
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68144) - you deserved it (3108)

On 04/18/2009 at 2:45am - animals - by englishtrio (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML

#1002619
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79588) - you deserved it (6559)

On 04/15/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

#958764
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60933) - you deserved it (6896)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was giving a tour on campus when one of my friends approached us and said "Don't go here, the weed's too expensive." and walked away. Thinking he's coming back to say he's joking, he instead say "i'm just kidding its really cheap" and walked away. I may or may not still have a job. FML

#920019
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45636) - you deserved it (4645)

On 04/11/2009 at 10:51pm - misc - by JimmyJazzNJ (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I told my ex boyfriend I lost 20 lbs because of the stress of the break up. His response was "you're welcome." FML

#889567
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50411) - you deserved it (25507)

On 04/09/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by blutownie13 - United States



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