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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3029
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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metalmusic's page activity

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metalmusic's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

metalmusic's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my dad help himself to a sex stamina drink. He and mom share the hotel bed next to mine. FML

by windskurfer / 01/14/2010 at 9:54am / Intimacy

Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His mother, seconds upon meeting me, gave me a hug, smiled at me, and said: "It's so nice to finally meet you! All I ever hear is 'Emma this', and 'Emma that', 'I love Emma!'. He never stops talking about you!" My name's not Emma. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2010 at 8:39pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, the police called and told me that they had Alex in custody. Apparently, she had public sex with another woman and wants me to come bail her out. Alex is my mom. FML

by runescapeftw / 12/29/2009 at 1:18pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2009 at 7:08am / United States (Washington) / Holidays

Today, my parents were having a Christmas party. They went out to get the vodka in our garage fridge, only to find most of it was frozen. Knowing vodka doesn't freeze, they soon realized that I had been taking some and refilling it with water over the past two months. FML

by Sean / 12/24/2009 at 7:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend decided to admit to me that he and my girlfriend have been cheating behind my back for the past two months. The reason he finally admitted it? Because she is now cheating on him with another one of our friends. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2009 at 3:33pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML

by mclovin09 / 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my ex-husband just had a baby with his new partner. We only split up a week ago. FML

by paula123 / 12/18/2009 at 8:02am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Love

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, is my birthday and my friends and I went to our favorite pub to celebrate. As I'm a little broke at the moment, they all offered to buy me birthday drinks. Which I later learned meant that they would order them for me and bring it to the table, but put everything on my tab. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 11:52am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 4:29am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my wife to tell her I finally found a job after 6 months. A man answered the phone claiming to be the cable guy. We cut our cable off when I was laid off 6 months ago. FML

by SatelliteUser / 12/03/2009 at 3:13pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Love

Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML

by anonymous / 12/03/2009 at 1:55am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend of almost a year, and to whom I intended to propose on Thanksgiving, dumped me because her husband will be returning from Iraq soon. And he wants to have a "talk" with me. I didn't know she was married. FML

by blasted / 11/25/2009 at 8:56am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, my jeep wouldn't start so I opened the hood. I slammed my fingers in my jeep's hood. It latched shut. My hood release was inside the cab, and the jeep was in neutral and on an incline. It started to roll... with a ditch about 5 yards away. I had to skin my own fingers to get them out. FML

by FoundMyLighter / 11/20/2009 at 8:28pm / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous