Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

metallica_wins

Online | Search for a member

metallica_wins

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 859
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About metallica_wins : Do you know who these guys are? The two singers of the two best bands out there. If you don't know them, immerse yourself in their legendary-ness.

metallica_wins's page activity

Visits<b>shouldntbehere</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 12:46pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:35am<b>flufee2</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 9:17am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:48pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 10:40am<b>salih</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 1:17pm<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 4:28am<b>JoshArson</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 12:38pm<b>lilDerp</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 4:09pm<b>12goldfish69</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:48pm<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 10:53pm<b>thatoneninjadude</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 5:09pm<b>Shayaan</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 4:19pm<b>thehouseisonfire</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 12:48pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:54pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 5:48am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 3:30pm<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:43pm

Liked!<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 4:41pm

metallica_wins's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of metallica_wins's badges

metallica_wins's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML

#14376347
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14917) - you deserved it (48529)

On 12/29/2010 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met my boyfriend's whole family. Between them they had about 10 teeth. FML

#13770099
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32923) - you deserved it (4643)

On 11/08/2010 at 9:25pm - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today, at an Aunt's wake, my five year old son walked up to the coffin, and, with the whole family around him, exclaimed, "Well that's good, I was wondering where she's been." FML

#13635730
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27635) - you deserved it (3062)

On 10/29/2010 at 4:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents told me about how they met. I'd already known they were eight years apart, but I never knew my dad started dating my mom when he was 21 and she was 13. FML

#13561698
348 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50907) - you deserved it (3610)

On 10/23/2010 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML

#5689238
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53260) - you deserved it (2551)

On 10/06/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by zitroskies (man) - United States (California)

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

#4983449
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9144) - you deserved it (36656)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

#4157667
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40978) - you deserved it (26495)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:21am - intimacy - by verysadasian (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

#3991086
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57742) - you deserved it (26171)

On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94681) - you deserved it (19987)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML

#2525381
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43367) - you deserved it (3683)

On 06/02/2009 at 3:55am - misc - by sierraisfucked (woman) - United States

Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML

#2158517
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61200) - you deserved it (11166)

On 05/21/2009 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by screwed (woman) - United States

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

#2019724
641 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27707) - you deserved it (273145)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35547) - you deserved it (92902)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: