About metallica_wins : Do you know who these guys are? The two singers of the two best bands out there. If you don't know them, immerse yourself in their legendary-ness.
metallica_wins's FML badges
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
metallica_wins's favorite FMLs
Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 6:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML
by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm / Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan) / Animals
Today, my dad grounded me for two weeks for profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing, he actually accepted my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost, my grounding period would double. We played. He kicked my ass. FML
by goodbye cruel world / 11/30/2012 at 8:28pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by SadExperiment / 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 10:26am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML
by oops / 07/15/2012 at 1:34am / United States / Intimacy
by megasniper240 / 06/19/2012 at 11:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML
by Baustigt / 04/10/2012 at 6:48am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/09/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Money
by Mandy / 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 10:01am / United States / Intimacy
by britt71411 / 01/13/2012 at 12:17pm / United States (Texas) / Love
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana…