Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

metallica_wins

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

metallica_wins

13Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1969
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About metallica_wins : Do you know who these guys are? The two singers of the two best bands out there. If you don't know them, immerse yourself in their legendary-ness.

metallica_wins's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 4:53pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 12:46am<b>samrompain</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 6:27pm<b>isabelc</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 10:53pm<b>Brian2911</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:00pm<b>rshweky</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 2:23am<b>Nathion</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 8:55am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 3:09pm<b>Schuyler16</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 11:35am<b>Saraj07</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 7:49am<b>VonBlitzkrieg</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 1:24am<b>bob8462</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:40pm<b>SadIndianLife</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 3:23am<b>BlackFames</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 1:17am<b>luminis12</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 2:57pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:52pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 8:42am

Fucked!<b>VonBlitzkrieg</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 7:26am<b>EmmaSOA</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 8:58am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 3:18am<b>Sovietryan</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 11:03pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 11:02pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 8:53pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 7:42am<b>Xx_dankdoge_xX</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 2:09am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 4:44pm<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 12:05am<b>Phury</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 2:06pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 12:28am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 4:41pm

metallica_wins's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of metallica_wins's badges

metallica_wins's favorite FMLs

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

#20830409
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24494) - you deserved it (47233)

On 08/10/2013 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34452) - you deserved it (6313)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30862) - you deserved it (6914)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, my dad grounded me for two weeks for profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing, he actually accepted my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost, my grounding period would double. We played. He kicked my ass. FML

#20185812
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8386) - you deserved it (32835)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:28pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML

#20139261
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32699) - you deserved it (3151)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)

Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML

#20095768
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19084) - you deserved it (3517)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22776) - you deserved it (3762)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

#19939596
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37283) - you deserved it (42614)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML

#19434352
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37427) - you deserved it (3418)

On 04/09/2012 at 1:15am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML

#19352692
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23111) - you deserved it (3751)

On 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Mandy - United States

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60305) - you deserved it (4652)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, inspired by my own relationship, I encouraged my best friend to go after the guy she likes. She did, and I'm now single. FML

#18795232
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46561) - you deserved it (5510)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:17pm - love - by britt71411 - United States (Texas)

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

#18324369
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32848) - you deserved it (4965)

On 11/23/2011 at 4:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: