Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

metallica_wins

Online | Search for a member

metallica_wins

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 887
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About metallica_wins : Do you know who these guys are? The two singers of the two best bands out there. If you don't know them, immerse yourself in their legendary-ness.

metallica_wins's page activity

Visits<b>artpoooop4569</b> - 4 hours ago<b>shouldntbehere</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 12:46pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:35am<b>flufee2</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 9:17am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:48pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 10:40am<b>salih</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 1:17pm<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 4:28am<b>JoshArson</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 12:38pm<b>lilDerp</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 4:09pm<b>12goldfish69</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:48pm<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 10:53pm<b>thatoneninjadude</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 5:09pm<b>Shayaan</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 4:19pm<b>thehouseisonfire</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 12:48pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:54pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 5:48am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 3:30pm

Liked!<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 4:41pm

metallica_wins's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of metallica_wins's badges

metallica_wins's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19877) - you deserved it (3413)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

#19939596
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34116) - you deserved it (39526)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML

#19434352
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33656) - you deserved it (3092)

On 04/09/2012 at 1:15am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML

#19352692
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20264) - you deserved it (3431)

On 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Mandy - United States

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55117) - you deserved it (4233)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, inspired by my own relationship, I encouraged my best friend to go after the guy she likes. She did, and I'm now single. FML

#18795232
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42268) - you deserved it (5146)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:17pm - love - by britt71411 - United States (Texas)

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

#18324369
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29161) - you deserved it (4544)

On 11/23/2011 at 4:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I am sitting at home, alone, playing video games. My wedding is tomorrow afternoon. None of my bridesmaids wanted to hang out tonight. FML

#17211324
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45328) - you deserved it (4331)

On 07/22/2011 at 12:23am - love - by bridetobe (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML

#16461868
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30667) - you deserved it (16712)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19133) - you deserved it (29537)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, I was fired from my job. Apparently getting shot is no valid reason to stay home. FML

#15833093
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58494) - you deserved it (4399)

On 04/18/2011 at 11:09am - work - by davka -

Today, my boyfriend got a new rifle. He forced me to watch him stripping it, oiling it, and sliding things into its barrel. We then watched 'Enemy at the Gates'. I basically endured 4 hours of gun porn. FML

#14836344
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30315) - you deserved it (7364)

On 02/04/2011 at 2:59am - intimacy - by missbrit (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I was at my doctor's office. I thought I had a kidney stone. Turns out I'm pregnant and I have a kidney stone. FML

#14689339
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30491) - you deserved it (4757)

On 01/23/2011 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: