About metallica_wins : Do you know who these guys are? The two singers of the two best bands out there. If you don't know them, immerse yourself in their legendary-ness.
metallica_wins's FML badges
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
metallica_wins's favorite FMLs
by DaggerHole / 03/06/2014 at 9:54am / Australia / Health
by Sad Student / 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Profucktardor / 01/24/2014 at 3:33pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML
by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 8:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML
by awkwardpartybear / 01/04/2014 at 6:43pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by oh why... / 12/20/2013 at 9:51am / United States / Love
by linzl00 / 12/06/2013 at 7:21am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML
by Ashamed_Sister / 11/30/2013 at 2:35am / Namibia (Windhoek) / Love
Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow for Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush for cheap stuff. FML
by fuck me / 11/28/2013 at 2:13pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, my family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough, I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes, my parents really did name me Lilypad. FML
by Anonymous / 11/28/2013 at 11:53am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML
by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health
by flavored / 11/18/2013 at 10:26am / United States / Intimacy
by myheadhurts / 11/11/2013 at 9:14pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
by Argh / 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm / France (Poitou-Charentes) / Miscellaneous
Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, as a freelancing musician, I had to pass on the best gig I've ever been offered (worth over… Today, I found out my hours at work were getting cut and given to another employee. Not only are my… Today, I screamed so hard during a nightmare that I developed Laryngitis. I work in a call center.…