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metallica_wins

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metallica_wins

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 656
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About metallica_wins : Do you know who these guys are? The two singers of the two best bands out there. If you don't know them, immerse yourself in their legendary-ness.

metallica_wins's page activity

Visits<b>pwnapple99</b> - yesterday at 10:31pm<b>TumblrAndStuff</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:42am<b>DawnofDark</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 5:09pm<b>dabears1011234</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:11am<b>sunny1225</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:59pm<b>artpoooop4569</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:51pm<b>the_Jessicaaa</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:45pm<b>bjf21</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 5:17am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 4:02pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 12:49pm<b>DarkSmoke591</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:51am<b>sharklover2017</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:32am<b>JuzReading</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 6:46pm<b>euphoricness</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:25pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 4:07pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:48am<b>ChloeLentin</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:34am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:40am

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metallica_wins's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30941) - you deserved it (14699)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42713) - you deserved it (17412)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, I got a concussion. It was when an entire shelf of bicycle helmets tumbled onto my skull. FML

#20954433
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37177) - you deserved it (2728)

On 11/11/2013 at 9:14pm - health - by myheadhurts (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my car keys are in my house and my house keys are in my car, and I'm in neither. FML

#20943997
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46903) - you deserved it (8450)

On 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by Argh (man) - France (Poitou-Charentes)

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

#20870528
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51461) - you deserved it (18743)

On 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

#20830409
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22748) - you deserved it (44006)

On 08/10/2013 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30814) - you deserved it (5836)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26599) - you deserved it (6276)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, my dad grounded me for two weeks for profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing, he actually accepted my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost, my grounding period would double. We played. He kicked my ass. FML

#20185812
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7039) - you deserved it (29039)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:28pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML

#20139261
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28495) - you deserved it (2757)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)

Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML

#20095768
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15643) - you deserved it (3046)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19180) - you deserved it (3339)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

#19939596
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33643) - you deserved it (39149)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML



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