metalguy95

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metalguy95

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 September 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1655
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About metalguy95 : ......... Nothin to see here

metalguy95's page activity

Visits<b>moodyreallyrocks</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 12:00pm<b>SPN_lover666</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 4:00pm<b>cmorrissey587</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:10am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 10:56pm<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 1:09pm<b>THE_A_TEEN</b> - the 04/07/2012 at 6:45am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 6:32am

metalguy95's FML badges

The rules are the rules

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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metalguy95's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought I'd be safe by looking before crossing a one way street unlike I normally do. Too bad I looked the wrong way and didn't see the car that hit me. FML

by Lackadaisical / 01/14/2010 at 7:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought a $3000 HD camera. It never shipped to my house, so I was concerned. I then realized I had given the seller the address for a house in California. I live in Maine. FML

by musicgod123 / 12/29/2009 at 11:56am / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner. While at the restaurant, she went to the bathroom. She was then escorted out of the restaurant for having sex in said bathroom. I was sitting at our booth the entire time. FML

by turriblebday / 12/17/2009 at 10:35am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my husband was choosing an auto insurance. Geico was $500 and Allstate was $200. He chose Geico because it had a 'cute little lizard.' FML

by Cathy / 12/14/2009 at 12:03am / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML

by doglover / 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, after months of enduring my neighbors relentlessly yapping schnauzer, Molly, I moved into a new building. I was greeted by my new neighbor and her yapping rat terrier, Molly. FML

by bellaellaella / 09/22/2009 at 2:10pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

by WOCOACH / 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML

by mickstinator / 06/25/2009 at 11:37am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML

by reb2632 / 05/29/2009 at 4:13pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML

by Spawn_of_Satan / 03/27/2009 at 11:18am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous

Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly : while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML

by nessacadesa / 03/24/2009 at 12:47am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a phone call saying I was no longer a bridesmaid for a wedding in June. It's my mom's 4th wedding. I'm getting replaced by our dog. FML

by Noname / 03/16/2009 at 10:41pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML

by tamponmayhem / 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my roommate and I finally got fed up with this increasingly, horrible stench that has been in our apartment for a few days now. Leaving it for our other roommates to handle, we selfishly left to get yogurtland. Moments later, we both expressed that we haven't seen our cat in a while. FML

by pacificbeach / 03/02/2009 at 4:32pm / United States (California) / Animals