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metalguy95

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metalguy95

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 847
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About metalguy95 : ......... Nothin to see here

metalguy95's page activity

Visits<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 1:09pm<b>THE_A_TEEN</b> - the 04/07/2012 at 6:45am

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metalguy95's favorite FMLs

Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML

#19618137
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8154) - you deserved it (30629)

On 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm - misc - by smh (man) - United States (California)

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet.  A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

#19609899
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8544) - you deserved it (47613)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML

#19587881
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23496) - you deserved it (2235)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:43pm - kids - by lon01t (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13154) - you deserved it (41354)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

#19555079
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18849) - you deserved it (3716)

On 04/30/2012 at 8:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was browsing some hardcore porn sites. My mum decided to barge into my room uninvited, so I quickly switched tabs. Unfortunately for me, all five other tabs were also parked on porn galleries. Now my computer and phone are confiscated, and I can only get online at the local library. FML

#19301849
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10330) - you deserved it (53730)

On 03/18/2012 at 4:46pm - misc - by waitwhat (man) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

Today, I found out that a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will erase the paint right off your wall. FML

#18301043
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22134) - you deserved it (5967)

On 11/20/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by jazzybell - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went into a public bathroom and walked in on a guy checking his butt out in the mirror to see if he'd wiped properly. FML

#17541030
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30824) - you deserved it (2457)

On 08/21/2011 at 8:03pm - misc - by Bobby ray slice - United States (Minnesota)

Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML

#16074880
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13283) - you deserved it (56742)

On 05/07/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I decided to play a friendly game of Clue with my family. This resulted in one kid crying, one dad with a broken nose, two broken plates and a trip to Walmart to get a new Clue game. FML

#14593657
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23935) - you deserved it (3611)

On 01/15/2011 at 8:50pm - misc - by fail (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent the morning in the ER with a broken arm. My little brother was in such a rush to get his presents first, that he violently shoved me out of the way on the stairs. FML

#14335175
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25465) - you deserved it (2247)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:33pm - misc - by Connor - United States (New York)

Today, I went into labor with my first child, and as much as I pleaded, I had to wait for my husband to finish his raid in World of Warcraft before he'd take me to the hospital. FML

#14093813
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67136) - you deserved it (10347)

On 12/05/2010 at 8:38am - health - by newmother (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mother keyed my car because I wouldn't invite her into my home and get her a cup of tea, so she could continue screaming that she was going to kill me while I tried to feed my 4 month old daughter. The last time I got her a cup of tea she threw it in my face. FML



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