Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

metalchick226

Offline (the 10/16/2014 at 4:43am) | Search for a member

metalchick226

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 413
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

metalchick226's page activity

Visits<b>KICKASSWALKERop</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 9:06pm<b>kaablam</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 7:22pm<b>BFons</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 12:18am<b>seeoseek</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 2:08pm<b>baba01</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 6:48am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 6:59pm

metalchick226's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of metalchick226's badges

metalchick226's favorite FMLs

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

#21182903
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56902) - you deserved it (4376)

On 06/21/2014 at 8:50am - health - by anon - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML

#21143534
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55790) - you deserved it (5589)

On 05/18/2014 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

#21015673
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46134) - you deserved it (4957)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

#20994581
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43476) - you deserved it (6311)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by abc123 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61255) - you deserved it (25717)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

#20883807
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45614) - you deserved it (8367)

On 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by meganmagee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

#20876988
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49493) - you deserved it (3947)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States

Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML

#20162265
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7078) - you deserved it (26289)

On 11/13/2012 at 8:03pm - misc - by scaredinnyc - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6994) - you deserved it (46668)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30936) - you deserved it (18135)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

#20095198
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9990) - you deserved it (26705)

On 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I got yelled at for providing horrible customer service, in a store I don't even work for. FML

#20094580
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22829) - you deserved it (1664)

On 09/30/2012 at 1:32am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML

#20075207
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28530) - you deserved it (3777)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:50pm - love - by painfetish8021 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: